REMEMBER MY SMILE: Part 1                                             28  May  2008

Pointers: Alcohol,  out of it,  minimised,  good teaching,  sad vs. happy…

If two independent parties are of the opinion that we are drunk,  it is time to think seriously of going to bed,  out of deference to our self-respect.    Let’s face it:  our useful contribution to the party is compromised,  because we are pigeon-holed as being  “out of it”!  Perhaps there are definite tell-tale symptoms and signs,  which reveal that we have retreated into a world of our own.  Our private humour-channel cannot be accessed by our fellow party-goers.  They remain tuned into  “the programme-of-the-sober”.

For those of us who take a stand,  and remain pedantic,  the shared opinion is that it is presumptuous to dare define the subjective meaning of  “drunk”.  There are indeed nuances of inebriation,  in the same way as there are degrees of comparison:  drunk…  drunker…  drunkest!  For the abstemious celibate,  who would never consider indulging in life’s  carnal pleasures – yielding to bodily appetites – it is considered grossly-decadent to take even one sip of champagne.  The regular party-goer becomes accustomed to a regular intake of alcohol.  One glass of that irresistible nectar–of-the-gods,  would not even touch sides.  Of course,  what must be borne in mind,  owing to its pertinent relevance,  is the size of the person involved in this study:  a comfortably-large person,  is able to consume large quantities of alcohol, before being framed an alcoholic-suspect,  in relation to a smaller,  thinner,  or shorter person.  Opinion plays a very significant role in this all-important threshold pertaining to how much alcohol is permitted,  after which one should draw the line.

“Out of it”,   and consequently pigeon-holing a person,  is an insult that is loosely used,  in this era of fast technological progress.  A professional photographer,  who is not conversant with the latest market-launch of camera-equipment,  is considered to be “out of it”,  until he achieves mastery of this futuristic apparatus.

I think of a neighbour,  who with unfailing regularity asks:  “how’s it going?”  I conjure up thoughts of all the modes of transport he thinks one should be using,  and all the possible destinations to which he may be referring.  I must ascertain from the horse’s mouth,  exactly what he really means by this monotonously-predictable question!  And I hasten to add:  who are we to judge whether anyone has really reached a predetermined destination,  and with what measure of accomplishment has this journey been completed?   All of us are eternal travellers through this ride we call  “life”.  What is success to one,  is mediocrity to another:  the old man shuffling past his friend in his wheel-chair,  is considered to be moving very fast!!

As I spill out today’s  thoughts,  I am sitting with a screen,  that for some strangely-enigmatic reason,  has  “minimised”  of its own volition,  and no matter which key I press,  I cannot succeed to reset the full screen.  I have tried the  “help”  button,  but the general information fails to assist me in remedying my problem.  In a way, this validates a Truth,  that there is nothing which compares to a real-life teacher who is physically present,  and uses the ancient “chalk and talk technique”,  who stands in front of his class,  ready to answer any questions that students may have.  If there was someone here with me now,  having the necessary competence,  as I experience this frustrating challenge,  that person may possess the skills to resolve the problem and facilitate my enjoying a full screen!  Technology will never be developed and implemented,  to take the place of the wise and charismatic pedagogue of old!

Students told me,  with embarrassing monotony,  that they would remember my smile long after they left the classroom.  These days I tell people,  with a cynical twist in tone,  that I have to try a smile all the time,  because I am a caricature of what I was formerly,  with marks of pain etched into my face,  which goes into uncontrollable contortions,  when I try to articulate a laboured version of what should normally be effortless.  It is tantamount to reining in a wild horse:  I say to people,  that I choose to smile,  because I don’t want to give anyone a fright.

The art of good teaching is encapsulated in what I call the castle-technique:  putting the castle that is in my mind,  as an exact replica,  into your mind.  To achieve this,  one proceeds to number,  then dismantle the stones of the castle, which is actually the idea which manifests itself in my mind,  which must then cross over the river -  being the great divide – that separates your mind from mine.  Optimally-successful communication will occur,  once we have reassembled the castle as a replica,  which now finds its home on the other side of the river -  in your mind.  We accomplish this,  by using the same numbering sequence of the stones. 

Using this technique,  I make the analogy that my broken mouth is like having a permanent neck-erection,  but instead of incredible pleasure,  this is a permanently-painful sensation,  because the muscles remain in sore,  stiff-spasm!

When I look in the mirror,  the truth validates all the damage,  as I study the distortions in my face,  which is my world after botched mouth surgery.

I think to myself that God does not want us to be sad.  We are all part of God.  John Donne phrased it so succinctly when he cautioned us:  “Do not ask for whom the bell tolls:  it tolls for thee!”  Yes, anyone’s demise,  or their sadness,  impinges on us. 

Have you ever seen a sad person walk into a room,  and manage to infect everyone.  It is as if negative vibrations radiate into all those who are in close proximity of this person,  and there is no controlling it!  A happy person’s  exuberance,  brushes off onto everyone in his company.  One can be extremely bubbly and happy,  as a result of chemicals being secreted by our bodies,  inducing an ineffably euphoric state,  comparable to spontaneous drunkenness.  These chemicals are generically referred to as endorphins.  Happiness seems to snowball with a momentum of its own: a happy person,  becomes even happier with the passage of time; sadness feeds on itself,  and sucks us into its sick, sorry vortex.

When my students said that they would remember my smile,  this entails only one drop of the multifarious positive influence that I strove to impress upon them.  One student – Paul – remarked that   “when you teach, your influence spills over to countless generations”. 

It was my absolute pleasure to teach.  I believe that I was one of those few people who gets paid well for doing his hobby.  I knew that I wanted to be a teacher when I was a very young boy.  I would set written tests for my siblings,  and it was always my pleasure to evaluate their progress. 

A doctor-friend of mine,  Jonathan,  researched people in their work environment.  He found that only 5% of people are happy in their jobs. The rest are motivated by money,  and these manage to kill time,  as part of their rush to reach for that cheque at the end of the month.  A day must be incredibly long for this ilk.

Remember my smile: Part 2                                 29 May 2008

Pointers: job satisfaction, positive attitude, money earned, lucky lucre,   after working-life scenario, healing the world, using our time…

Yes,  only 5% of people are really happy in their jobs.  No wonder it is called a  “job”.  The implication is that the work is boring and repetitive,  and there is little room for growth,  promotion,  or self-development.  That sounds really scary,  if you think about it.  No wonder people spend so much of their time surfing the net,  at the company’s expense,  and no wonder so many firms flounder in the area of productivity.  On the other hand,  a  CAREER  entails self-fulfillment and satisfaction.  It would be wonderful if everyone could aspire to creating for themselves a comfortable career. 

I spent  Xmas  1994 in America.   I will never forget how enthused people were about their country,  about their careers,  and about Xmas.  Amtrak railways were late with their train connections in Sacramento,  Northern California.  The entire railway staff doubled as willing waiters on the platform,  enthusiastically serving the passengers free coffee,  and spreading out a complimentary buffet lunch.  They felt so guilty about this unavoidable faux pas,  that they had to make amends.  And what a sumptuous meal we enjoyed that day,  right on the Sacramento platform. 

I keep on asking myself:  “what causes people to be so loyal to their country,  so dedicated to their work,  and to hold Xmas in such high esteem?”  The American bus-drivers sport euphorically-contagious smiles with pride,  which brighten up their passengers’  day.

A pretty,  young waitress,  recently enlightened me that at a certain aroma-therapy-oil factory,  if people were sick or sad,  they were not permitted to be involved in the processing and bottling of the oil,  for the duration of the sickness or sadness.  It is obvious,  then,  that people who are not in a positive frame of mind,  should not be permitted into an environment where food is being prepared.  The Biblical maxim enlightens us that a bitterness is introduced into the wine,  if the grapes are pressed by people who suffer from a negative spirit (no pun intended),  remembering that wine was pressed by workers,  who stamped the grapes with their naked feet,  (obviously after they had passed the necessary hygiene tests successfully!).

Now let us take this train of thought one step further:  if people’s  prime motivation is filthy lucre,  how can they possibly be in the perfect frame of mind to involve themselves in their respective careers to the best of their abilities,  with the required love,  and the necessary dedication?  This occurs because they are driven by money alone,  which makes them cold,  crass,  calculating,  and careless…

In our modern world,  competing and competition is foisted on us from all angles.  A company selling sportswear,  claims that winning starts there!  From a young age,  we are programmed into a struggle to become winners.  Losers are ostracised and ridiculed,  except when they win,  by shedding the most weight,  in a weight-loss competition!

Another maxim bails us out at this juncture: it is not whether we win or lose.  At the end of the day,  what really counts is  HOW  we play the game!  Work and sport should emphasise  ENJOYMENT  as its primary focus.  But again,  money is the great dream-target in sport,  where winners are paid very handsomely,  and they become overnight heroes,  to boot.

I find it very disturbing to learn that a win-at-all-costs aggressive attitude,  was responsible for the death of a rugby player recently,  because the opposing team was programmed to win,  no matter what.  And the obvious lure of a bag filled with a lot of lucky lucre,  was dangling in their minds!

In a book called  “Wheels”,  the author tells us that we have to be lucky in our purchase of a new motor vehicle:  if the vehicles are assembled on a Monday,  we slot into the category of unlucky buyers,  because we sit with   “hangover”  cars;  if the cars are assembled on a Friday,  they are known as   “can’t-wait-to-knock-off”  cars,  where the workers do their jobs reluctantly,  frivolously,  and with a half-hearted dedication!  We become loser-buyers,  because the element of luck was not on our side!  Buyers of cars manufactured on a Tuesday,  Wednesday,  or Thursday,  will hopefully have fewer teething problems with their purchase!  I know that some cynical people will say that vehicles are manufactured on an assembly-line,  but the human factor always plays a part.

Think of lawyers,  whose clocks start ticking the moment we make telephone contact with them.  They may be busy drinking in the bar,  but the moment we count on their advice,  they charge megabucks!  

While a patient is lying on the psychiatrist’s  couch,  speaking out his mind on a seriously-pressing issue,  and paying for professional medical services,  this doctor’s  mind may be focused on the weekend he is spending in the mountains!

There comes a time when most careers end,  and invariably it is precisely then,  that boredom kicks in.  The adult-pacifier is eager fill the gap.  In America,  a pacifier is actually a dummy – yes, a baby’s dummy. 

Come to think of it,  television works just like a dummy:  it keeps the person who is watching,  beautifully-quiet.  This is precisely what the busy housewife loves,  after her husband retires,  to spend his days at home.  At least the television keeps the husband silent,  and out of her way! 

Check the vacant stares that come over people’s  faces,  while their attention is fixed on this one-eyed monster -  the television screen.  You may ask what they are watching,  and the answer you get from them,  is that they don’t really know – they are just watching,  in order to kill time.  We think that we kill time,  but in the end,  it is time which really kills us! 

I love this aphorism:  live your life as though it ends at midnight,  but plan your life as though you live forever.  

We should nurture many dreams,  which we can bring to fruition after we have retired.  If we don’t do this,  we are in a way retiring from life.  In America,  senior citizens are encouraged to pursue new interests,  which are all part of the University of the Third Age!  In Israel,  I was so impressed with elderly people who played their meaningful roles on the Kibbutzim,  even if it meant that they were sewing buttons onto overalls all day.  This kept them away from thinking about themselves,  avoiding focusing on their aches and pains.  In the Netherlands,  octogenarians love cycling around their country.  I took numerous photos of these fit old folk on their bicycles,  because I was so impressed with their tenacity to cling onto the beauty of life.

There are 86 400 seconds in a day.  The poem,  “Sands of Time”  informs us that time which is not utilised fruitfully,  is like a bank balance that gets written off,  the moment we put our heads on that pillow to go to sleep.  Tomorrow we get a new quota of  86 400  seconds.  Time is The Great Leveler,  because each of us has the same amount of time every day.  It is what we do with this time,  that is of significance.  I personally believe that we should use our limited time on planet-earth doing our utmost to make the world a better place.  We are also commanded to do our best to reduce the element of evil in the world.  “Evil”  is  “Live”  spelt backwards!  The implication here is that we live life negatively,  and in reverse,  if we resort to evil! 

This is all part of our required contribution towards the healing of the world,  which is so necessary in this age of destruction,  in which we find ourselves.  The greatest challenge is for us to leave our mark of improving the world,  by making a difference,  after we have left everything else behind!  Shakespeare will live forever in the plays that he left behind.

It is a fallacy to think that one can buy time!

Einstein made a joke when people asked him to explain his Law of Relativity.  He simplified the explanation,  so that we,  as laypersons,  could understand his logic:  one minute spent sitting on hot coals,  is a very long minute;  but a minute spent with a loved one,  is a very short minute!   This proves how relative time is:  time can become so long,  if we are doing boring work,  and how fleeting time is,  when we are engrossed in activities which grip our souls!

When I became totally involved in explaining Economic Theory to my students,  a double lecture passed in one fell swoop.  I could never get enough of imparting knowledge,  and I was graced with a beautiful sea of eyes,  all of them totally under my spell.  I miss lecturing more than anything in the world.  I realise that with a broken mouth,  I cannot stand in front of a group of students,  because a lecturer’s mouth is his tool-of-the-trade.  It was most trying to be forced to endure the taunts of those students who did not understand what I was trying to teach them,  but were most successful in emulating the way my jaws pull in strange directions,  because of permanent muscle spasms.  An analogy may add meaningful colour to what I am trying to say:  a radio-announcer without a voice,  is like a prostitute without a bed!  

I still feel a boundless energy,  which I use in sharing my thoughts,  in order to enrich the lives of my readers.  I only hope that you are enjoying what I have to offer about getting the most out of your careers,  and instilling meaningful-purpose into your lives.  I will continue to do my best for you!

Remember my smile: Part 3                                                30 May 2008

Pointers: the power to smile, appreciation, pain, our 2 greatest assets,  balance, making paradigm shifts, making things happen, handling conflict…

“Out of respect to others,  being able to keep a smile on your face,  while inside yourself,  you feel a part of you is dying,  is a characteristic of great power” (Author Unknown – quote translated from yesterday’s  Die Burger).

Students often said to me:  “Sir,  you are one of few lecturers who is always happy!”  One cannot bring one’s problems to the work situation.  During the morning,  before I attended My Mother’s afternoon Funeral,  there was syllabus-work that had to be completed,  and lectures went on as usual.

A person loses oneself in one’s work,  and proceeds to forget all the problems mulling though one’s mind.  The power of the mind,  and its ability to create positive energies,  is incredible.

“If I can conceive it,  and if I can believe it,  I can achieve it!”.  That is precisely how Sir Edmund Hillary conquered Mount Everest.  That is how Oscar Pistorius wins races,  even though he is a physically-challenged person.  And there is always a winning smile on his face!

My two precious German Shepherd dogs both contracted tick-bite fever,  and were on a drip.  The emptiness in my life at that time was so palpable,  that smiling took great effort…  and yet one’s life goes on!

It is the personal experience of great deprivation,  that inevitably equips us with the ability to appreciate the value of life.

A certain pastor says that the most worthy members of his community,  are those who are happy with the crumbs.

Professor P.J. Schoeman,  who lectured  at Stellenbosch University,  wrote a book “Van Jagter tot Wildsliefhebber”  (From Hunter,  to Wildlife-lover),  in which he points out so succinctly that we must experience intense deprivation,  in order to renew our sense of appreciation:  we must know first-hand what desert thirst is like,  in order to appreciate water again,  and we must live on field-roots for some time,  in order to rekindle our appreciation of a meat-dish.  With the electricity crisis that South Africa is experiencing currently,  perhaps we have been too spoilt in the past,  with cheap power always being available at the touch of a button.  We begin to take electricity for granted.  We never think of those who wake up to cold showers in the morning,  perhaps for the entire duration of their lives.  In fact, these people may not even have access to clean,  running water,  just by opening a tap!

Yes,  “there by the Grace of God,  go we.  We complain that we have no new shoes,  until we meet up with someone who has no feet!”

My close-to-death-experience of pain following botched mouth-surgery,  makes me appreciate immensely,  so many of the things that I formerly took for granted.  Being out of pain,  is an absolute release,  even though I live a life of permanent discomfort,  not being able to talk or chew normally,  because my mouth-muscles are damaged. 

It was C.S. Lewis in “Shadowlands”  who enlightened us:  “ Pain is God’s megaphone, to arouse a deaf world”.  Pain is the wake-up call that impresses upon us,  the tremendous value of life.  This impresses upon us,  how critical it is to preserve life…  to cling onto life tenaciously.

During the first Economics lecture with a new group of students,  I would always challenge them to list 5 assets of greatest worth.  Do you know that hardly any of them mentioned Health and Time, which are our two greatest assets:  these two treasures (aspects of Human Capital and Human Asset Accounting) both enjoy a very high price,  and once they slide,  no money can buy them back!

We should guard our Health and Time,  and sometimes even allow ourselves to be selfish about these.  If everyone in our clique is smoking,  we have the right to refuse to join.  If everyone in our clique is partying all-night,  we reserve the right to go home at a time which will provide us with sufficient sleep,  so as to enjoy the following day to the full.

After 55 years on this planet,  I have learnt that balance is a key criterion in getting the most out of our Health and Time.

With regard to food,  each individual’s constitution is different from the next person.  That is why we are told:  “one man’s meat,  is another man’s poison”.

We should use our time to develop our bodies, minds,  and spirits.  Each of these three aspects,  should be in synchronicity with the other two.  It is pointless spending all day at the gym,  without reading the newspapers,  which then enables us to be aware of what is going on in the world;  and we must make time to feed our souls,  by being in harmony with,  and communing with nature.

A paradigm shift entails brazenly facing everything that crosses our path,  yet using a fresh attitude as our technique in handling a new predicament.  If a person is confronted with conflict,  the options are fight or flight.  We can either face the situation,  or flee from it.  Fleeing may make cowards of us!

The fight should embrace positive intentions.

I believe a conflict situation is handled in 5 different ways, by 5 different personality-types:  these are

Ø      the waiters: those who wait for the coming of Godot,  the person in Samuel Beckett’s play,  “Waiting for Godot”,  who never arrives!  This group of people spend their entire lives waiting

Ø      the watchers waste their time gazing at the world passing them by,  and they too,  never accomplish anything 

Ø      the wanderers spend their entire lives using unnecessary energy plodding along an uncertain maze,  which has no definite destination

Ø      the wonderers spend their entire lives in contemplation,  and they never make decisions: some advise them “yes”,  some advise them  “no”,  some advise them  “maybe”,  and in the end,  they keep wondering,  but never make a commitment, or follow-through on any plan of action

Ø      the most successful types of people, is that group which makes things happen:  they invert the 4 groups of lazy “w” ‘s  that have just crossed our path –  (the lying-down “w”  becomes a standing-up “m”) – “  and this group of people,  pro-actively MAKE things happen.  They are commonly known as the movers and shakers of society.  They make their dreams come true every time.

Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a book,  “On Death and Dying”,  which actually helps anyone cope with the phases of conflict: The Acronym to remember these is  ‘DABDA”:  Denial,  Anger,  Bargaining,  Depression,  Acceptance.  A person goes through these stages,  during the period he is confronted with any crisis.  Once acceptance has been reached,  he experiences a type of panacea – a cure-all,  which enables him to feel that he has reached closure,  and this equips him with the ability to move on with his life.  Sometimes,  people fixate on any one of these stages,  and depending on how they are affected,  in some measure they are capable to continue with their lives.  The degree of fixation,  will act as a brake,  which slows down progress in other areas of their life.  A lot of folk would refer to this fixation as being an obsession.

A paradigm shift when confronted with a crisis,  is the blessing of spending more quality-time with family and friends over candle-lit dinners,  when the electricity goes off,  because there is now more time for conversation,  once the television fails to function.  These are the positive effects of a so-called  “crisis”!

Crises can actually be blessings in disguise, which shake us out of hibernation and complacent inertia.   

Remember my smile:  Part 4                                            31 May 2008

Pointers: using our full potential, modern speed-age, saying goodbye, it could have been worse, artist Vincent Von Gogh…

Klipheuwel and Darling,  in the Western Cape,  flaunt wind-energy structures which create electricity.  They are currently under-utilised.  The shock of South African power-outages,  which is euphemistically called power-sharing (“beurtkrag” in Afrikaans),  is the driving force precipitating future potential-optimisation of these structures.  Community members tried aborting this electricity-from-wind innovation,  with the pretext that it spoils the beauty of their environment!

In Chicago,  the lights went out.  Chaos,  and looting of shops resulted.  This  inspired  “What did you do when the lights went out?”  South Africans are advised to go to bed early!  Can you imagine how this brainwave will impact on population explosion?  “Bed is the poor man’s opera”!  Economic Statistics reveals one baby born every twenty-six seconds in South Africa.  Throw the cat amongst the pigeons,  in a lighter vein:  research discloses couples’  most exciting moment as being approximately 22h30.  Listen carefully.   You will hear the earth move,  when the clock strikes 22h30 every night!

We use only 10% of our brain power.  Our joint challenge is to tap into,  and access more of that dormant  “grey matter”.

I dispute the multi-tasking pretensions of those who can read,  watch television,  knit,  talk on their cell-phone,  and dance to the beat of music,  all at the same time!  The million-dollar question:  “how successful can he be in each of these  5 areas?”  With all due respect,   we were created to specialise:  excelling in one activity at a time,  or failing at everything!

This conjures up thoughts of a juggler in the circus.  He specialises!  Depending on his skills,  there is a cut-off point,  after which he will not cope with catching an added ball.  The Didactic Learning Curve has a tendency to flatten.  A typist will speed up,  typing more words per minute,  until a point,  where it is impossible to type any faster!  She specialises!

Our speed-age implies we do everything faster.  SMS-language on cell-phones – “nu-speek” – validates lost writing skills.  The proverbial  “Queen’s English”  is trashed.  University examinations are multiple-choice – multiple-guess,  monkey-puzzles.  Once a student masters the art of eliminating the wrong answers,  he stands a stunning chance of scoring a distinction,  without writing one word. 

Our meals have become micro-wave dishes.  Fast-food outlets are mushrooming.  We no longer sit around the winter supper-table,  with the log-fires-of-old burning.  Warm family discussions,  lovingly exuding reminiscences of the day’s  highlights,  is long-forgotten nostalgia.  Today,  people eat cold food,  fast… breakfasts-on-the-go,  quickie-lunches,  T.V.-tray dinners!

I sit with a full plate,  chewing slowly,  because I do not want to bite the inside of my cheek,  with jaws being out-of-alignment.  I still smile! 

Because life has become so fast,  people don’t cope.  The drug – Speed – in this speed-age,  is not a solution!

The moment we are on the brink of losing something,  we realise too late,  the value we  SHOULD  have attached to it,  while we possessed it.  That final chocolate in the box, triggers the salivary glands to kick-in with a frenetic lust for a last chocolate.  The Economic Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility – extra satisfaction gained from the last unit consumed,  is less than the extra satisfaction from the previous unit – is defied!  Students always joked that the more beer they drank,  the more they enjoyed the party!  They always bubble with sparking brilliance!   I just smile!

Are Economists like Weathermen – retired Politicians?

We should guard our time.  When our final moment arrives,  we may be graced with the opportunity of asking ourselves whether we made the most of our journey on planet-earth.  Did we spend enough precious moments with loved ones?  Did we realise all our plans?  Did we make all our dreams come true?

Saying goodbye to anyone,  shocks us with a foretaste of Death.  We never know if we will see that person again.   Scary!  We should always follow the dictates of our hearts,  making time for those people to whom we are drawn.

This age of rush and rudeness is replete with a variety of intervening,  and unknown,  variables.  We must live our lives without fear.  Robin Williams,  in the movie  “Dead Poets’  Society”,  encourages his pupils to  ‘Carpe Diem’ -  the Latin for  ‘seize the day’.  Be fired up and inspired!   We must make the most of our time,  by letting every moment count.  Moments become mementos – keepsakes!

It is anomalous that the things which should help us in this technologically-advanced age,  are precisely those things which have the power to inflict on us the most harm.

Think of a jet-aircraft,  which gets us between continents in a matter of hours.  That same plane – when something goes wrong -  goeswronggoeswron_ -  can cause the deaths of hundreds of passengers,  who moments before,  were ironically watching a movie called  “Airport”  on their digital screens,  enjoying a meal,  sipping at Jack Daniels,  when suddenly…

Emigrants who voyaged by boat from one continent to another (up to the early 1900’s),  said goodbye to their loved ones,  knowing with almost absolute certainty,  that the chances of seeing each other again,  were bleak.

Saying “Goodbye” can be so final.  That is when loneliness kicks in with a vengeance.  A person goes on that long journey,  on his own…

“It could have been worse”,  is a coping mechanism that I always resort to,  when things do not work out according to plan.  This somehow tides me over a crisis.  One reads about people who are mugged,  claiming that at least their lives were spared!

With life on our side,  we  CAN  make new beginnings. 

We must never question God’s Ways.  The Lord Moves In Mysterious Ways His Wonders To Perform.  He never gives a person more than he can bear,  and when daunting things happen to us,  we should construe these as honoured challenges.

A lady told me that after mouth surgery,  she lost her sense of taste.  Ox-tail,  her favourite food,  now tastes like wood.

OUR  taste-buds are unaffected.  We must Thank God!  We must smile!!

The artist,  Vincent Von Gogh,  painted these colourful words: “to know life,  is to love many things”.  If you can do something,  leave it,  and try something else.  Having multifarious talents,  makes a person eclectic.  At a dinner-party,  he will steal the show,  with subtle wisdom pouring across the table.  Even though we may not be able to multi-task,  we can aim for versatility. 

In his poem  “If”,  Rudyard Kipling teaches his son,  “if you can walk with kings,  but never lose the common touch”. 

We learn so much from conversations with beggars.  They have experienced life at ground-level.  Then we take a seat at the Royal Table,  eating caviar!

I will never forget a professor recalling how people respected him when he wore an expensive suit,  addressing him as  “Sir”.  However,  during the vacation,  he wore paint-stained overalls,  while pottering around his house. He ran out of paint,  and with the stained overalls,  presented himself at a hardware store.  He was amazed how people can  ‘talk down’  to a painter.  While he was busy paying,  one of his students addressed him as ‘Professor’,  to the absolute horror of everyone in the shop.

It is unbelievable how “positional goods” place us in society…  

Remember my smile: Part 5                                             2 June 2008

“Too many people spend money,  which they have not earned,  on things which they do not want,  to impress people whom they do  not like”  (Will Rogers).

These are  ‘positional goods’,  referred to by brilliant word-wizard,  Barry Ronge.

There are 3 motives for  ‘holding money’:  Transactions Motive,  Precautionary Motive,  and Speculative Motive!   When a person is in possession of loads of  ‘old money’, he indulges in the latest designer Pleasure Motives.  He becomes  game to consume anything  “cool”!

Partying all-night,  dipping into a Smartie-amalgam of concoctions and chemicals,  including Viagra;  then counting how one scores in terms of hits;  taking “E” – Ecstasy -  for added pleasure…   and coming off disappointed,  only to realise,  that anything but ecstasy,  is the outcome!  The person whose body is now riddled with these dangerous chemicals,  loses his ego-boundaries,  forgoes his self-control,  races his motor,  by burning the candle at both ends,  and an anticlimax of indescribable aching-tiredness is the horrific reward!  These symptoms are one of the causes of the syndrome we label  “Yuppie ‘Flu burn-out”!

God forbid,  he should pass out at the party,  and need the services of an ambulance.  On the way to hospital,  in the rush to a medical team,  which hopefully will succeed in flushing out the poisons from his system,  the ambulance races over speed-humps.  The poor guy lying on the stretcher,  then feels the pains of whip-lash as well!

Why should we place ourselves in burdening debt,  just to impress the Jones’s?  Debt is a financial devil that feeds on itself.  People sometimes try to solve the problem,  by using one credit card to pay off the others.  An item bought on credit -  when interest and other charges are factored in  -  can cost up to twice the price of what it would have cost,  if cash was used.  It is hard to sleep, knowing that we owe the world money. 

Let not the sun go down on our debt!

Motivational Speaker,  Clem Sunter,  advises us to cultivate a Jackal Mentality,  by hollowing out our lives,  by being alert,  and by travelling with the lightest load possible. 

The ethereal butterfly flutters over the garden,  with just the waft of the wind.  Yes,  if the wind is behind us,  we need very few possessions,  which are actually the stifling barriers in our efforts to accomplish set targets. 

A person can travel the world with only his wallet,  and still be in touch! 

Technology enables us to stay in touch,  even if we visit the remotest places in the world.

“Function before Form”,  is a Marketing credo,  whose relevance is underplayed in our modern-day pretentious society.  What a product does -  rather than how it looks  -  is of critical significance at the end of the day.

Think of that vintage Beetle Bug,  chugging along at a top speed of 90 kilometers per hour.  It is a very basic vehicle,  but it keeps on going.  This is precisely why the Volkswagen Beetle was phased out:  because a person who bought this car,  realised how cost-efficient it is,  from a maintenance perspective.

So many modern vehicles are assembled with computerised parts.  They sit stranded along the road to Malawi,  because developing countries do not have the parts,  the technology,  or the trained technicians,  which are prerequisites for these futuristic cars,  should they give problems en route.

So many modern-day appliances  and products,  have built-in obsolescence.  Their life-expectancy is short,  as a result of the disposable age in which we live.

Today the panic-button gives problems,  tomorrow the remote-control gates fail to work,  the following day the automated garden-irrigation timer does not respond!  The more modern-day possessions we own, the more problems we seem to encounter.  The things that are supposed to make life easier for us,  give us the most headaches!!

A mother now has more time for the rest of the family,  because the baby sports a fresh disposable nappy.  No more nappies on the washing line!  There is an art in hollowing out our lives:  disposing of the things that have lost their purpose.

A friend’s  philosophy holds true:  if we have not used something for six months,  we should think very seriously of doing away with it,  because this item becomes part of the excess baggage that clutters our lives.  This item also succeeds in cluttering our clear thoughts!  We clean out our lives this  way,  and move slowly and comfortably into a spiritual realm.

Shakespeare speaks of the  “7 Ages of Man”,  where loss at each stage of life occurs.

During the period leading up to the high-court case,  following damage to my life and lecturing career,  after botched mouth surgery,  a colleague of mine gave me a book called  “Necessary Losses”.

This book validates for me,  the correct mentality of the Biblical Wanderers who travelled light,  resolute to reach their destination – The Promised Land!  They divested themselves of excess baggage!

Remember my smile: Part 6                                 4 June 2008

Pointers: Old Noddy, carrying few possessions,  Slow me down Lord,  life-span of today’s products,  customers coming back, supplements,  losing,  omni- powers,  love vs. hate,  psychosomatic illness…

Chugging along in our old red Beetle – dependable Noddy – carrying as few possessions as possible,  we take a pit-stop rest for a while,  and read the poem  “Slow me down,  Lord”.  We sip tea,  still warm in our flask,  under the embosoming-shade of an old oak tree.  We tune in to the birds’-song,   imbibing the purity of their insistent chirping-melody,  on which composers base their musical scores.  We share core sentiments depicted in our poem:  “Inspire me to send my own roots down deep into the soil of life’s  endearing values, that I may grow toward the stars of my greater destiny”.

The art we strive to inculcate,  is the ability to slow down enough to smell the roses,  in a world riddled with rush and rudeness.  We smile politely…    We are getting there…  Iteratively  (by trial and error)!

It is amazing how life’s modern micro-chip mentality,  has moulded our resemblance to Clem Sunter’s  sharp jackal: the tendency towards being proactively alert,  and in tune with the world.  We carry a cell-phone,  and have access to the Internet.  We travel lightly:  one pair of denims,  and a few drip-dry items.   Spending wisely,  stretches the contents of our wallets. 

This journey is about achieving  spiritual wealth,  to enhance our lives.  Abraham Maslow’s  research explains this phenomenon as self-actualisation – self-development.  We aim to lose ourselves in the euphoria of this journey!

The emphasis remains on benefiting society as a whole,  by vowing to do something every day,   which will stop others’  hearts from breaking.

A friend found difficulty securing a job.  He telephoned me,  in desperation.  The mere fact that I made time to listen,  may have been the precipitating agent in saving his life.  He threatened to jump from a high-rise building,  without a parachute.  After that,  he job-hopped a lot,  but at least he kept the proverbial wolf away from the door.  With enduring tenacity in sending off his Curriculum Vitae in “NEWS directions”  – NEWS being the acronym for North East West South – opened possibilities in the United Kingdom,  where he is currently happily managing a restaurant.

There is an advert where a man unknots his tie,  then takes a plunge into a swimming pool,  from the ledge of a high-rise building – a lesson for us to cut off our shackles,  in order to free our spirits.  A free spirit in the work-scenario, implies being paid to do one’s hobby!   This instils a special magic and love into the time spent at work! 

Positive events will fill our lives,  if we are fired with the motivation of keeping doors of possibility open! 

A Japanese Proverb cautions us not to be afraid:  “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows”. 

Further along our route,  petrol-jockeys make bids for old Noddy,  because they too know that she rides forever:  she is indestructible.  No wonder  Cape car-hire companies snap up all the old  “Vollas”,   on which they can lay their hands.  Vehicle manufacturers choose to erase the memory of this Beetle,  because people who bought this car,  kept it for life.  All its components were made of durable materials.  The engine was uncomplicated.  It could be removed and replaced,  almost as effortlessly as installing a lawn-mower engine. 

Noddy chugs on forever,  because  “built-in obsolescence”  was never introduced…

If this scenario prevails,  how can salesmen earn a living?  In order for them to put food onto the table,  customers must keep coming back!  After five years,  a lot of modern vehicles get  ‘sick’,  and their  20%  annual depreciation,  ensures a very nominal value on companies’  Balance Sheets!

Any engine,  including the heart – which is our body’s engine – may suffer adverse consequences,  if unnecessary additives are pumped into it.  I shudder when I think of unnecessary surgery some people undergo,  because they have the money it takes,  and a need to pamper their vanity. 

An anaethetist informed me that some people survive the operation,  but are allergic to the anaesthetic,  with catastrophic consequences!

Nature will take its course,  no matter how many face-lifts a person has.  Surely we won’t choose to look like the wax models at Madame Tussauds!

I remember remarking how young a community-leader looked!  One of his colleagues hastened to add:  “time will soon take care of that!”

Yesterday’s Die Burger details a sad story of a 39-year old body-builder experiencing chest-pains during a competition,  and suffering a heart-attack!  Doctors say it was caused by  “untested” supplements that were meant to boost his power!  These supplements were actually  TOXINS  in his body!

“Letting go,  and letting God” is a wise philosophy,  when we face a crisis,  or the looming threat of losing worldly possessions.

Similarly,  we have to survive the trials of the current Economic Recession. 

We must never permit  Our Health  to slide.  It is  Our Greatest Asset! 

Kahlil Gibran gives us hope with this deep wisdom:  “We may lose our possessions,  people can shed our blood,  and burn our bodies,  but they can never harm our spirits,  or touch our Truth”. 

Let’s face it:  there is only so much we can do,  after which we must have faith enough,  and intuitive wisdom,  to guide us in making this burden over to the Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omniscient Powers. These all-powerful,  everywhere-present, and all-knowing powers, are crutches in crises.

Being engrossed in activities with unconditional,  positive intentions – aiming for society’s benefit – feeds the outcome,  and the momentum of our mission,  because we have pure and noble motives,  serendipitously adding power to its completion.   What we do,  is clothed in a pure aura.  Like a magnet,  it attracts energies onto our side,  with nurturing protection from supportive guardian-angels,  egging us on to finish our task effectively,  sporting inscrutably infectious smiles on our dials!   Watches,  in advertisements,  smile at ten-past-ten!

Somehow,  what was formerly a problem,  is a successfully-accomplished challenge,  because we had faith enough,  to press ahead with our lives.

An additive that always enhances the quality of our lives,  is  LOVE:  “LOVE” is an acronym for Listen,  Observe,  Verify,  Empathise.

In Afrikaans, “HAAT”  and  “HART” – are  “hate”  and  “heart” -  close-sounding words!   Hate backfires,  adversely affecting our hearts.  Love has palliative healing qualities,  which always starts with  “smiles on our dials”!

In the poem “A Smile at Xmas”,   the core line states:  “No-one needs a smile more, than those who have none left to give”! 

I believe that when all else fails,  with Xenophobic Violence which gripped South Africa the past weeks,  only hugs,  love,  and smiles,  will save the day!

In his book  “In tune with the Infinite”,  Ralph Waldo Trine  warns us that hatred,  anger,  and other negative emotions,  are triggers which cause psychosomatic illnesses. 

While sitting around the Sunday roast,  grandchildren excitedly announce to Grandmother that Mom stands ready to do a trick!  Gran curiously asks what they mean,  to which the grandchildren eagerly reply:  “Mom will climb the walls,  now that you have arrived for lunch”! 

She is their Paternal Grandmother (Dad’s Mom).  The daughter-in-law does not like her,  breaking out in boils,  when the Grand Old Lady is around.  This is a palpable display of the venom she produces when Mother-in-law is around.  The doctor advises transmuting the hatred with love,  and the boils will not erupt!

Hatred and anger induce cancer-causing toxins being secreted in the body!

Remember my smile: Part 7                                      7 June 2008

Pointers: God, Truth,  stress,  humility,  loneliness,  planning,  Love,  Music,  the power of believing, our pets,  brotherly-love…

Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twersky instructs us that God and Truth are identities.  They are inseparable Siamese Twins.  God is Truth,  and Truth is God.

Acknowledging this Truth,  would have facilitated the daughter-in-law’s healing.  She would have been free of her boils long ago.  Does she believe in God?  Is she aware that every single person that God creates,  possesses a part of God?  You only have to look into people’s eyes – which are the mirrors to their souls – to see the spark of God shining in them! 

Even the worst of characters,  have the spark of God in them.  These folk need recognition,  in order to bring their good qualities to the fore. 

When she hates her mother-in law,  she hates God! 

People’s  bodies get  “run down”,   if negative energies are allowed to start flowing through,  and these destructive elements precipitate burn-out,  and eventual psychosomatic illnesses,  if they are not nipped in the bud,  and drained . 

Premature aging sets in when there is concurrent stress and anxiety,  which promote negative energies.

Our fast-paced modern world is beset with so many changes.  It is absolutely normal that uncertainty will rattle people.  There is an art in cultivating,  and then mobilising,  those powers which will prick at us like a positive wake-up call to be on our guard.  If we let down our guard, we let down our God!  He believes in us.  He wants the best for His Children. 

There is a very important criterion with which we must comply: whatever we do,  must to be done exclusively to His Greater Glory.

When we leave this planet,  we will be remembered for the things we did to make God’s World a better place.  We are temporary visitors to His Planet, and everything that we possess,  is actually on loan from Him.  If we damage someone,  or if we damage their possessions,  we are actually damaging something that belongs to God!  How are we going to make amends?  Can we make amends?  Can there be reparation for the permanent damage that we are currently inflicting on Planet Earth,  in the name of selfish greed?

We ought to be moved to the marrow with the possibility of acquiring and accumulating the knowledge which being alive teaches us,  and this knowledge comes on the wings of the ineluctable passage of time: the lesson is that living life,  plays out for us numerous examples where,  the more famous people become,  the more humble they grow.  Why are we so reluctant to be like them,  and assume a low profile?  Is this all part of an Inferiority Complex?

I think of my Icon,  Mr. Nelson Mandela,  whose humility gathers a momentum,  as his popularity grows! 

Is this not a shift towards his celestial greatness?  Is this not a qualifying attribute,  which admits a person to the thin ranks of standing ready to be evaluated for possible admission and induction into Sainthood? 

Jesus arrived on a donkey,  wearing old sandals,  and he washed people’s feet.  Stoop to rise.  Rise to fall.  Remembering at all times,  that whatever we do,  must be done unconditionally,  and to  His Greater Glory! 

This makes one think of the quote:  Be kind to people on your way up the ladder.  You may just have to pass them again on your way down!

Pretentiousness is a sore signal of insecurity.  The moment that the pregnant silence of loneliness kicks in,  the cell-phone appears,  because habit is shifting us into a gregarious world,  where we crave constant company,  and we flounder the moment we have to be on our own.  We can  NEVER  be lonely,  if we know that God is with us.

“Footprints in the sand”,  is relevant here:  the gist of this poem’s lesson,  is that we feel insecure,  because God has assured us that He will always walk beside us.  In our moment of dire need,  there is suddenly one set of footprints in the sand,  and we panic.  This is actually the time when God is  CARRYING  us! 

It is only in the silence of your solitary sanctuary,  that you can be creative.  One cannot be creative at a raving party,  or in an environment where there is noise.  Noise is intrusive and invasive pollution. 

Economic Theory teaches strategies for Long Term planning.  John Maynard Keynes ridiculed this,  stating that in the long term we will all be dead.  Today’s fast-paced life does not make provision for planning,  because there are so many contingencies,  fluctuating variables,  and shifting parameters, altering the picture all the time.  What was in our frame-of-focus a moment ago,  has shifted to another image.  We have to cope with this change. 

Any plan grows obsolete very fast…  it’s like the continuously-changing weather.  Using a raincoat when the sun is shining,  is not a wise decision.  Suddenly a gusty, cold south-easter starts to blow! 

Clem Sunter’s sharp jackal travels light,  but in amongst his amalgam of carefully-chosen items,  is the versatile wind-breaker,  which doubles as a raincoat!  He is equipped,  and he is ready!

The art of coping in this fast-paced world,  is to take it one day at a time.  If that is too long,  then take it one hour at a time,  or one minute at a time!

God,  Truth,  Love and Music  are the  4  legs of The Holy Table.

Einstein questions the existence of God.  He maintains that The Bible and its contents,  reveal a childish mentality!

Kahlil Gibran teaches us that Death is stronger than life,  but Truth is stronger than Death: this impresses upon us just how strong is The Power of Truth.

Love has many interpretations.  A Cosmic Love,  in its widest context,  is an unconditional  love towards all creation.  

The hugs that parents get from their children,  is different from the love we feel for heroes and icons who make an impact on our lives.

Music is so overwhelmingly and immediately-gripping,  that it causes people to hold hands spontaneously,  or suddenly to get up and dance.

Having God,  Truth,  Love,  and Music in our lives,  integrates and attracts the omnipresent Cosmic Healing Powers.  These are the positive forces in nature which combine to nurture our lives,  and reward us with longevity.

Dr. Coue had a recipe for his patients:  he encouraged them all to say these words,  the moment they woke up:  “every day,  in every way,  I get better and better”.  The curative power of positive thinking,  induces the body into a pattern of increasing wellness.

The Placebo effect of healing is phenomenal:  The sweet that we have just swallowed will cure us,  if we have the capacity to believe strongly enough.  These curative powers are further enhanced,  when a patient believes in his doctor!

Patients who are surrounded by beautiful flowers,  and their accompanying alluring fragrances,  are wafted into healing.

The therapeutic qualities that animals possess,  must never be underplayed.  The warmth of the cat lying on the duvet next to the person feeling ill,  exacerbates a positive improvement towards recovery.  It is amazing how sensitively tuned-in are our pets to our health:  the cat will lie on the bed with her sick companion all day,  if necessary. 

This is all part of unconditional love. 

A pet will sacrifice his life for his master,  if this is necessary.

In Gundagai,  Australia,  there is a statue of a dog on a tucker box,  waiting for his master.  The dog will guard that tucker box until his master returns.

This phenomenon of incredible love, makes me think of the love Naomi had for Ruth… and the amazing friendship of David and Jonathan.

Being blood-brothers in the “Olden Days”,  was an oath that two friends took,  by cutting their respective thumbs and joining them,  in order to mingle their blood.

A person will have no compunction about donating blood to his brother… even a kidney,  if this is necessary.

When one spouse of a couple who love each other very much dies,  there seems to be a pattern where the other spouse dies shortly afterwards.  Montaigne describes this love as  “two bodies with one soul”.  The kindred spirits of twins seems to validate this.

Remember my smile:  Part 8                      10 June 2008

Pointers: beyond the call of duty,  charity,  rescue,  passion,  geese…

Allow no half-measures.  Whatever is to be done,  should be done with mind, body,  heart,  and soul.  We may never be graced with a second chance!

Setting aside time to visit an ailing patient,  is a paragon example:  we will live to regret,  if  we procrastinate about this good gesture,  which warms the heart of someone who is ill.  In Afrikaans,  we say  “after postponement,  comes cancellation” -  “Van uitstel,  kom afstel”!   Stalling,  temporising,  delaying tactics,  playing for time,  are tricks we leave over for the lawyers! 

I heard a true story of a sick man requesting his son to cancel his pension.  The strong premonition that life is drawing to a close,  is so pungent in this last request.  The man passed away in his sleep,  that very same night! 

Days before my own  Father’s  passing,  he gave me a new pair of shoes,  predicting that he would never wear them.  I was reluctant to part with these shoes for years after  Dad’s  death!

A French doctor-friend of mine emphasises our fragile existence,  and our delicate vulnerability…  “the wind passes over it,  and it is no more”.  Think about this Truth:  we are just a breath away from Death!  A person never knows what awaits him,  in the interval before the next moment arrives.  The strongest amongst us,  may suffer a sudden aneurism!  That is why we must smile and Carpe Diem!  There is only the present.  This is precisely why it is called a  “present” -  because it is actually a  “gift”  from God,  to use optimally (to the full).  We must pack into it,  whatever we possibly can,  filling the present,  so its memories colour the future!

The secret is to give it our best shot.  Every opportunity and situation is a gift of breath and power,  which we must use to the full!

If we decide to donate blood,  we must harbour no regrets afterwards.  Any grudging thoughts at the completion of this unconditional,  noble act,  will steal the special honour and glory bestowed upon us. 

Neither must we boast about this good deed.  The Bible,  being our Source of Reference,  tells us that the left hand must never know what the right hand is doing.  Charity is a secret act between God and our heart!

If we believe strongly enough,  we must be prepared to lay down our lives for this deep sentiment.  A decision to donate a kidney to a family member,  ranks amongst life’s  greatest presents.  It is,  in fact,  the gift of adding life!  There is no greater calling than giving of ourselves,   and being prepared to lay down our lives for the things in which we believe. 

Commendable as it might be,  it is so easy for the rich to donate money,  which is just a drop in the ocean of their wealth!

We must also follow through on our decision,  until our mission is complete,  never reneging.  We stand to drown in the mid-stream vortex of confusion,  if we do not follow through with determination,  the current of our promise. 

A firm belief gets crystallised,  then ignited with a firing-pin.  This eminates from the cockles of the heart,  and the dictates of gut-feeling.  Following the directive of our heart,  never misleads or betrays us.

An example that comes to mind,  is two people in a boat.  One suddenly falls into the water.  Without entertaining second thoughts,  his friend’s heart will dissipate all fear.  He will dive in,  in an effort to save a life.

In a crowd,  it’s a different matter altogether:  people are self-conscious and embarrassed to rush forward,  dash into the water,  and rescue a drowning fellow,  because there may be somebody more capable.  Everyone waits for the next person to take the initiative.  A moment’s  delay is the critical factor between life and death of this drowning man!

Bearing noble intentions in the case of an injured person,  may just exacerbate the problem:  if someone has hurt his back – accompanied by whiplash – moving this person in the wrong way,  may cause further pain and added injury!

Passion is our keyword.  Losing ourselves in our work,  in the things that we do for others,  and in our hobbies,  is an exemplary sentiment that we ought to cultivate.

Passion placed into  “Honesty Hour”  when Jack and Meryl spend time discussing a problem that has arisen,  could avoid a later  “pressure-cooker syndrome”  erupting in their relationship!  The word  ‘passion’  has overtones of intense love!  Cultivating the self-discipline required,  and harnessing all energies we can muster,  results in a passionate approach to everything that we undertake to do.

Geese flying overhead,  seem to put so much passion into their synchronised flight.  Their combined effort of flying in a row,  saves them energy.  They fly on a loft of air created by the birds in front of them.  Why can’t we learn from them to work together?  The bird in front uses the most energy,  so when he tires,  he takes his place towards the back,  and another bird pilots the combined flight!  Is this not a magic,  which I invite you to experience,  the next time a flock of birds fly overhead!

Then we get lame ducks,  sitting ducks,  dead ducks,  and out for a duck…

Let’s keep smiling…  We’ll discuss these friends anon…

Remember my smile:  Part 9                                         11  June 2008

Pointers:  excess baggage,  theft and lies, lame ducks,  sitting ducks,  dead ducks…

With sentiments of desire to reach this same stage,  people will say:  “S/he’s  free as a bird”!  The Bible speaks of The Truth that sets us free.  Unnecessary,  heavy loads of excess baggage,  imprisons us.  Baggage includes lies that people tell.  Lies clutter our minds with mental baggage! 

If a person lies,  s/he must first make sure that s/he has a good memory. 

A lie eventually turns traitor,  like oil which always surfaces on top of water.  Friend Mish always said that a thief comes back to the scene of his crime:  if a person plays the wrong chord in music,  s/he will play that wrong chord throughout the song!  Once a thief has crossed the line,   s/he feels no compunction about committing further crimes. 

The same logic holds true with murder.  Serial murderer,  “Dr.”  Harold Shipman,  had a thing against elderly ladies.  He prescribed medication to WORSEN  their condition.  150 of his elderly lady-patients died under mysterious circumstances.  The police refused to arrest him,  their pretext being that  “the evidence was not strong enough”!  Shipman was eventually found guilty,  and with a conscience gnawing and haunting,   he hanged himself in prison.  Kayaad Almeini’s  novel,  “The Kite Runner”,   slots all evil acts into the category of theft:  if a person lies,  he steals another person’s truth;  if a man runs off with a married woman,  he steals a wife and the mother of children. 

There are people who carry loads of baggage around with them wherever they go.  Some walk around with full pockets,  or huge bunches of keys dangling from belt-loops of their trousers.   Making the time to hollow out superfluous and heavy balls-and-chains which strangle our progress,  frees us to access essential items that we really need.  Clumsiness – which is an inherent characteristic of these burdens – slows us down,  and tires us out!

We should constantly spring-clean our lives, getting rid of excess baggage which retards our journey towards a spiritual destination,   enjoying ethereal quality-of-life,  filled with wondrous pleasures and joys of the soul.  If we manage to convince ourselves to travel lightly mentally and physically,  we succeed to qualify to be admitted in joining the flock of birds flying up above us:  all in a row,  above the earth’s shackles which bind us,  and stop us from expressing our True Worth!

If a feather-weight ring is fixed onto any bird’s leg,  its balance becomes compromised.

In  “The Source”,  Michener advises:  “untie the cords that bind your soul,  with undeviating dedication”.  Setting our souls free,  opens possibilities which promotes  our spontaneous blossoming,  and our growth towards free spirits,  feeding on the joys of life. 

Is this perhaps when we reach a point at which we are capable of surviving  “on love and fresh air”??  With the cost of food soaring currently,  this would be a magnificent accomplishment!  

Let us look up to the freedom enjoyed by the flock of birds flying above us.

We smile,  knowing that it is possible for us to do the same,  if we will only cultivate a culture of commitment!

Unnatural pressure produced by the marked bird’s ring,  may eventually maim it.  A tight bandage placed on its leg for a period of time,  will cause blood restriction,  coupled with compromised circulation,  which may result in permanent damage.   Now we have created a lame duck!

This duck is ostracised,   forced to live out its remaining days in solitude.

Michener’s  “The Covenant”  is a novel tracing South Africa’s  history.   He enlightens us how the Khoi and San nomadic tribes will leave elderly members behind,  as they are no longer able to keep up with the clan.  Their family walk on,  comforted that their no-longer-capable parents will enjoy a last succulent meaty-bone and a calabash of water.   The deserted parents suck and savour their last days of earthly solitude. 

Instinct encourages animal-mothers to eat their young,  if these are born with abnormalities.   Survival of the fittest originates from this! 

In the human species,  nature discourages procreation,  if people have physical disorders,  thus ensuring the aberration is not perpetuated.

A sitting duck is one that is an easy target.  Like that cunning rat,  the duck has got to be alert,  and ready to move to safety at all times.  Ambivalence kicks in,  because the duck is fully aware that if it does not rest,  it will suffer burn-out syndrome. 

This dilemma is a challenge for us…  a lesson for us to remember that rest is essential,  in order to build the strength required to move out of danger quickly.   It teaches us to be proactive and prepared for obstacles that may cross our path.  Keeping fit will ensure that we are not sitting ducks.

A dead duck is useless.  It cannot be eaten,  because rot may have set in.

If the duck has had a full life,  it breathes its last with a smile,  knowing full well that its remains will recycle into the earth to feed life that springs from it. 

Life is a circle…  The Dead Duck will be back!

Remember my Smile: Part 10           13 June 2008  Lucky for us!

Pointers: Dead Duck, out for a duck, ducks in a row…

“When you do common things in an uncommon way,  you will command the attention of the world”.  These are the achievers, who leave their mark!

On the news today,  we hear of a man who was declared dead.  Doctors were on the brink of removing some of his organs to recycle as transplants.  Suddenly – after half an hour – the man’s heart started beating again of it own volition!  What they thought was a dead duck,  got a second chance.  The cat holds onto the luck which earns it the proverbial nine lives!

This is a lesson for all who have lost hope,  standing ready to cast their dreams into the trash-can: miracles  WILL  occur when least expected.  We must never lose hope,  but rather tune into,  and absorb,  the life-giving sap of serendipitous powers pervading all around us.  As long as we cling onto hope,  we  WILL earn a second wind to harness renewed energy,  making possible the enjoyment of a new lease on life. 

Before we are granted new beginnings,  we must be prepared to relent on everything that makes up our world now.  This is tantamount to starting afresh,  with a renewed birth!

Abraham was prepared to follow through on God commanding him to sacrifice Isaac,  the son of his old age.  God tested the strength of his belief!  Are we prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice?  Are we prepared to give our lives for the things in which we believe?  God challenges us all the time.  Spiritual Stamina must sustain us, no matter what obstacles try to intimidate us.  Hold on tight to your beliefs! 

“Hold on against the dying of the light”,  poet Dylan Thomas urged his father,  who was taking leave of life…

Dr. Viktor Frankl says: “Everything can be taken away from a man,  except one thing:  the last of freedoms, and that is being free to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstances… to choose one’s own way”.  With the fragment spark of life that is left over,  it is possible to choose a new beginning.  We must build a positive and persevering mind-set!  Think of that last candle that persists in glowing,  and succeeds in lighting up the darkness…

I was moved to the marrow on hearing about a man who walked 80 kilometers to a village where he hawked clothing.  After a time,  he raised funds enough to bring his family along,  start a business and school his children!  The story of The Talents in The Bible,  rings bells here:  we are all given equal potential. How do we mobilise this talent?  How do we snap at opportunities?  Do we choose the moulds of paupers or kings?  Choice is the key we get to open a door to failure or success! 

Richard Branson shares some of his recipe: there are no limits, you are what you think you are… it is your decision, and this stems from your mindset;  it is not what you say, but how you say it; stick to your plans by having tenacious endurance,  which is the ability to follow through;  see the big picture,  by having the ability to forecast what your plans will look like in the future,  when your dreams reach completion (never bomb-out); choose for yourself a role-model on whom you base your behaviour; try to make something from nothing (like the hawker we met,  who then realised his dream of starting his own business).

We never become dead ducks if we take control of the situation.  Life always gives us another chance,  as long as we have the patience to pick up the broken pieces,  and start afresh,  with a renewed vigour. 

Life is the greatest gift that we will ever get.  We must hold onto life,  even if there is only one thread left.  We must open all possibilities available,  allowing ourselves to heal.  The drowning person will clutch at straws.  He has the will to live on…

In cricket,  the batsman goes out for a duck,  with no runs earned. We watch him walk off the field.  They say when we lose,  our pride supports us; when we win,  our pride betrays us.  Winners must beware of the pride that comes before a fall.  This batsman walks off the field with a smile on his face – the perfect gentleman – knowing that sometime in the future,  he will get his turn to hit many runs.  Not everyone can be a winner.  It is not whether we win or lose,  but how we play the game,  which counts at the end of the day!

To win, we have to plan.  They say if you fail to plan,  you plan to fail!

The technique is to get our ducks in a row.  Before a court case,  a law lecturer will tell you to get your ducks in a row.  This means that your facts must follow a logical sequence,  and all your documentation and evidence must be convincing.  Life does not work out according to plan. After our ducks are in a row,  cynical people ask:  “But now, will they fire?”  As long as your ducks fire bullets of truth,  you will succeed in all areas of your life.  Sometimes your ducks are in a row,  but life still does not work out.  Never become frustrated.  Be prepared to wait until your stars are in perfect alignment.  All your dreams will eventually come true…  Never give up!  All things come to those who are patient!

Remember my smile: Part 11                           Youth Day  16 June 2008

Pointers:  reverse psychology,  miscreant ducks,  seagulls,  garbled messages,  shoulder to shoulder…

Patience remains an admirable attribute.  It ensconces itself as our entrenched behaviour,  not relenting to a world pumping with rush and rudeness.  Our secret is the skill of growing a skin sufficiently thick to withstand infection with the rat-race syndrome.  Susceptible folk fall prey,  doomed to crash like overcharged toys,  racing around like bats let loose from hell…  the last frantic steps of headless chickens:  dangerous,  uncontrolled missiles,  moving at a frenetic pace,  spinning around in an enervating,  fruitless dizzy duck-dance! 

After dashing from home,  they race back,  having left something important behind.  If they are prepared to discipline themselves to stand still and spend a few minutes planning,  this saves them time-wasting loops. 

Why grow increasingly impatient,  frustrated and irritable?  Why damage our bodies,  and feel our hearts palpitate,  as we break into cold sweats!  The seeds of impending flat batteries with dead cells,  are firmly sown.  Satan sits in the wings,  smiling at misfortune.  Never give him the satisfaction.  Daily hurdles are challenges,  building strength and resilience.  Tackled with ire and wrath,  an undertaking exerts negative influence on mental growth.   Success occurs when we experience daily chores as a beneficial exercise,  facilitating our duty to contribute towards colouring the world.  Daily trials are part of an iterative positive process,  which strengthens our characters!

Reverse Psychology is a tool reserved for those who handle it effectively: this guardian-angel rescues us from the ill-mannered and arrogant.  Let us put it to the test in a daunting predicament: 

¨      We discipline ourselves to be on our best behaviour,  with manners above reproach!  Others’  aggression will backfire,  then dissipate into feelings of guilt! 

¨      We get the upper hand,  enabling us to take control of the situation.  

¨      We hold a coping crutch,  not a weapon – a mace of peace,  capable of extinguishing a burning argument. 

¨      An ingredient which commands respect,  is soft,  controlled speech.  Others become loud and lose their cool.  They play their cards badly,  sacrificing poise and equanimity.  Becoming fazed,  their sense of logic slides,  and their memories fail! 

¨      The fact that we are controlled,  sharpens the credibility of our argument,  and amplifies our presence.  We get ordained with an invisible aura of power,  which is the mental weapon ensuring our victory!  We gain necessary bully points as bonus credits.  When we put our heads on that cushion ,  we fall asleep,  smiling! 

We live in an era, where kindness is viewed as weakness.  We cling to the vestiges of a bygone age of grace – the remains of an era  when people had manners;  where people showed respect towards their fellow human beings. 

Unfortunately dog-eat-dog crassness has kicked in,  coupled with a survival instinct. The Economic reason for this nervous behaviour,  is triggered by The Law of Scarcity:  dire shortages cause prices to rocket.  False security is derived from material things. 

A hungry man is an angry man.  Close-sounding  ‘hungry’ + ‘angry’  feed on each other!!   This is an age where survival of the fittest is the name of the game.  Those who are hungry enough,  will kill for food!   We wake up to the self-centredness of  “I,  ME,  MYSELF”!   Cut-throat competition is the name of the game.  Be careful not to choke,  while biting into the biggest slice of cake!  Greed is an ugly monster,  with a very big mouth!  How can we enjoy cake,  if we do not share.  Sharing doubles enjoyment! 

Society conditions us to be winners in every competition.  Losers are ridiculed.  Our well-mannered batsman who went out for a duck is smiling,  having learnt to put into practice the secret of Reverse Psychology!

“In business,  your opposition will bite you if you keep running.  If you stop running,  he will eat you up”! (Semon Knudsen). 

Egregious miscreants are evil villains.  At midnight,  their malice kicks in.  They pour oil at the bend in the road,  so victims’  vehicles aquaplane and crash.  This creates work for them!  Other egregious miscreants,  doctor drinks at a party.

They know one’s  weaknesses,  and capitalise on these.  This may be the reason why our cricketer went out for a duck.  An egregious miscreant may have engineered a set-up the evening before the match,  and as a result,  the batsman felt at his worst.

Having meticulously-prepared for a court-case,  critical documents inscrutably disappear from a file,  giving the opposition competitive advantage.  Ducks were in perfect alignment – all in a row,  but jealousy and begrudging  ‘the Truth that wins’,   sets the wheels of evil in motion…
We must live our lives in such a way that even the undertaker is sad! 

I think that the greatest honour a person can earn,  is when everybody loves him!   Let us work at achieving this!

Seagulls certainly have a lesson to teach us:  they successfully untie the cords that bind them,  and enjoy perfect freedom.  These birds fly the skies,  are adept on land,  and enjoy playing on the swells in the sea,  while pecking for food.  They are a paragon example of versatility,  AND they make an effort to befriend us!   I witnessed a seagull sitting on a man’s head,  while he fed it fish.  The mutual trust this relationship engenders,  has obviously been built up over a long time,  because seagulls are wild birds,  always on their guard,  and weary of us.  Over time,  enemies can become friends.  The lion will lie down with the lamb. 

Combined powers of love and forgiveness,  promotes healing. 

Bearing grudges saps all parties involved,  depleting them of energy.

A spoke in the wheel of renewed friendship occurs when garbled messages come into play:  the Hebrew name  “Ari”  is  “Lion”.   Having gathered this wisdom,  we must beware,  lest we fall for the broken-telephone syndrome and the interpretation becomes  “Ari is lying”  (instead of  “Ari is lion”)!  If the messenger is not corrected,  it will take a long time for the lion to lie down with the lamb!  The next booboo will be  “fire!”,  having heard  “liar!”,  precipitating a costly emergency evacuation.  Many critics fall into this category!  Those who cannot create,  criticise!   Stifling creative energies,  occurs in Grade One:  teacher tells Johnny that his art is a mess.  The damage is done.  In Afrikaans,  we say  “die koeel is deur die kerk”  (the bullet has penetrated the church).  The nail that has been hammered in,  is very hard to retrieve.  Johnny will hate art for the rest of his life.  A student comes up with a brilliantly-creative answer – not on the marking memorandum – and he fails the examination,  because his brilliance never receives recognition.  Jenny answers a question incorrectly,  and everyone laughs.  She becomes shy and silenced for the rest of her life.  We cannot begin to realise the endless damage that we can inflict on each other.

A picture in the news showed a crowd sitting on the grass,  listening to a rock-band.  Only one couple had the brainwave to sit shoulder-to-shoulder,  using their respective backs to support each other.  The exchange of energies is incredible,  when we  ‘spoon’  together in this manner.  We find that we use much less energy sitting erect on the grass,  with the back-to-back support!

This Gestalt synergism is explained as the  “1+1=3”  principle…  The sum is more than the individual parts.  After a cold winter’s  night,  our red Beetle bug,  Noddy,  requires a push-start.  How do we solve this problem??  Let’s think about it,  then weigh and assay all the alternative possibilities…

Remember my smile: Part 12                             18 June 2008

Gestalt,  paying it forward, to speak up or to be silent…

There are many ways to solve a problem.  Bob Dylan advises us that  “the answer lies in the wind”.  Never panic when problems beset you.  Remain calm. Use your sense of logic,  exploring the viability of best alternatives. 

Are we going to accept being stranded?  It is amazing how much confidence we cobble together,  when we feel time palpably sifting through our fingers.  We grow desperate.  Our comfort lies in thoughts of the time wasted by some South African men,  who will not ask for directions when they get lost.  They construe asking as tantamount to announcing to the world their incompetent stupidity.   Depending on assistance from others – in their estimation – is too demeaning and humiliating.  It knocks their pride,  and pricks their bubble of independence.  It certainly knocks their petrol gauge,  driving around in a lost maze.  Just before valuable time has run out completely,  they put their pride in their pocket.  Having received directions,  they arrive at their appointment flustered and fazed,  because they are late.  Sometimes it pays to put one’s pride into one’s pocket,  and go ahead to ask the advice of others!  This type of advice costs us nothing!!

There is no way we can push-start Noddy ourselves.  The Good Samaritan smiles,  stops,  and presents jumper-cables!  In Afrikaans there is a saying:  “when the need is at its greatest,  the outcome is close”  (“As die nood op sy hoogste is,  is die uitkoms naby”).  We must never lose faith,  in any area of our lives.  Where there is life,  there is hope!

Gestalt synergy waits in the wings.  We just have to learn how to tap into it. Soon we are on our way again.  It is then that we appreciate the immense freedom of being on the move,  with Noddy purring all the way. 

In business,  people have learnt to network.  Everyone gains from the spin-offs cross-pollinating in shared ideas,  while assisting one another.  Think of all the fresh business contacts (and contracts!) that come from attending brainstorming breakfasts,  and the new friends that we stand to acquire.

Henry Ford realised how productivity could be boosted if workers co-operated.  Time and motion studies ensures that time is not wasted,  and there is a reduction in the time workers waste moving around unnecessarily.

In 1976,  I was a volunteer on a kibbutz in Israel.  This is a farm made up of members as well.  We woke early to pick bananas.   Having arrived at the plantation,  a handful of us stood in a row between the tree whose branches  were being cut,  and the truck being loaded.  One person cut bananas off the tree.  The branch landed on someone’s shoulder,  and got passed along the chain of workers,  until it reached the truck which was being filled.  The truck was full of bananas in record time,  because we worked as a team,  with synergistic results.  We then enjoyed a sumptuous breakfast together.

And so bananas get distributed for everyone’s enjoyment.

Paying it forward is a concept that was thought out by a student whose brain-wave novel idea helps others:  he decided to assist 3 people in their respective areas of need,  and asked these 3 people,  in turn,  to help 3 others.  Synergy benefits society exponentially: think about it… 1 person helps 3.  These 3 people help 9 others.  These 9 people help 27 others…  notice how fast our  “pyramid-of-help”  is growing!  The important proviso is that nobody must be a weak link,  by breaking the chain of help.  Think of the happiness that we can create in others’  lives,  by supporting them in this manner.  It is a wave of help,  and all of us get drawn into its current!!  Resultant benefits of Cosmic Love will filter throughout the world!

A friend calls the opposite of this principle  “payback time”!  This is the reverse of the  “pay it forward”  principle:  When people use others to their selfish advantage,  they certainly will suffer great losses as their punishment,  sometime in the future.  This is because of the law of reciprocity,  when the chickens eventually come home to roost,  and the penalties kick in!

My Father believed in the philosophy of keeping silent when we cannot assist; being thought a fool, rather than speaking up,  and removing all doubt.

Technology makes fools of the best of us,  when there is a slight technical hitch,  we become dependent on others’  assistance.  They conquer the problem effortlessly,  then smile and tell us that we have an  “I.D.  10  T”  problem!   If we care to join the letters,  so as to form a word,  we realise that  WE  are the problem:  we are technical  “idiots”!

A typist tried to decipher a letter that had to be typed,  in answer to correspondence.  She typed  “if so, fatso”!  Obviously the recipient was not very impressed.  She had mis-transcribed what should have been the Latin  “ipso facto”  (by that very fact)!  There are other examples: Someone was invited to an evening of classical music,  and was told by the host that the singer had a very large repertoire,  to which he replied that it was obvious,  because her dress was bursting at the seams!

A visitor once asked what plant was growing in the lounge.  I answered that it was a Rubber Plant.  Their response: “but that’s  not rubber,  it’s  REAL”.

“Silence is golden”,  rings bells in the above examples…

We have got two ears,  because we must listen twice as much as we speak!

Remember my Smile: Part 13                                   20 June 2008

Pointers: Perfect smiles,  Listen,  Observe,  Verify,  Empathise…

A French proverb advises us:  “A closed mouth catches no flies”.  It  IS possible to smile,  even if our mouths remain closed.  Smiles lift our spirits. Smiling exercises face muscles;  smiling helps us retain the elixir of eternal youth!  Smiles vivify our features,  bringing charm and charisma to the fore!   Think of the animated expression of a clown causing contagious ripples of laughter.  Laughter is the best medicine,  and it costs nothing!

Journalists recently researched necessary criteria for the  “perfect smile”!  They showed photos of famous people,  then weighed and assayed the smile of each.  Those who showed too much gum,  received a lower ranking than ones  whose top teeth were perfectly displayed,  with the correct stretch of lips.   Were they also asked to say  ‘cheese’?  Wonderful publicity for the Botox industry!  We look in the mirror,  see weaknesses,  then dash off for face-lifts,  aspiring to qualify as the ones with the most perfect smiles!

There is nothing more irritating than a forced smile,  which conjures up images of a snarl created by professional artists at the wax museum.

I ask presumptuously:  who are we to judge what qualifies as the perfect smile?   What brazen temerity in laying down the criteria that have to be complied with,  in order to qualify!  Why can’t critics leave people alone,  to be as nature created us.  Unnecessary cosmetic surgery may cause irreversible damage.  Medical Aids are wise not to cover cosmetic surgery in their policies.  The unlucky ones – victims of failed surgery -  suffer permanent damage.  They become caricatures of their former selves!

I always remember the wisdom in this statement:  God made us all.  God never makes mistakes.  He sees all His creations as beautiful,  exactly as He shaped us.

A Japanese proverb has it that  “time spent laughing,  is time spent with the gods”!  You know what?  We have to start laughing at ourselves – really hard!  

We were created with two ears and one mouth:  nature’s  subtle way of guiding us to listen twice as much as we speak.  The art of good conversation is foregone,  because we fail to listen.  Oh yes,  we hear,  but we don’t LISTEN!

We preempt what is being said.  In other words,  while another person has the floor,  we are busy thinking of a reply to trump him,  instead of listening to the precise point he is trying to make.  It takes a special discipline to nurture a culture of listening.  We need to tune into the speaker’s wavelength,  visualising the castle that we discussed earlier!

It is a matter of focusing,  and tuning our ears to the conversation’s channel.  Watch body-language,  monitor inflections,  zoom into intonations,  modulations and other nuances pertaining to what is being said. 

Customs personnel undergo specialised training,  which empowers them with the ability to evaluate passengers passing the green and red lights at control points.  The moment a suspect opens his mouth,  he vindicates his innocence,  or he validates his guilt.  It is amazing how strong is the power of Truth,  which betrays a culprit the moment s/he opens his/her mouth to speak! 

Shifty eyes is a dead give-away,  pointing to overwhelming evidence of guilt!

The art of good listening is comparable to reading between the lines.  It is not what you say,  but how you say it,  that gets remembered at the end of the day.

These two things were said a long time ago, but they remain fresh in my memory:

Ø      In my student days – more than 30 years ago – a fellow student commented:  “Weddings should be happy occasions,  yet some of us cry!”

Ø      We had to announce ourselves to the rest of the 1984 American Contiki tour-group via a microphone in the bus,  before we departed to see 15 Southern States.  I will always remember the way this gaunt fellow,  with flaring grey hair (he was certainly above the 18 – 35 age limit) announce cryptically,  and stridently:  “My name is Erich.  I come from Austria;  and I love beer”.  These exact words remain indelibly etched in my memory.

I listened intently,  so I will certainly remember for the rest of my life!

Observing is a refined ability to mobilise powers of concentration.  To take note and to absorb…  in such a way,  that we make the experience part of our own world.  In a way,  we suck it into our memories.  The finesse it takes to acquire this skill,  requires effort.  Each frame of the event is photographed in our memory,  in the exact way that a camera operates.  If we need to recount what has happened,  we must be able to rewind the camera effortlessly in our minds,  then replay the event as it took place in reality.

Verifying is the acumen and ability to discover the authenticity of what we have witnessed.  This means that the laws of Truth and Logic must be complied with.

Empathising is feeling  WITH  someone,  because we walk one mile in that person’s moccasins.   We stand in their shoes in order to feel their pain.

It is then possible for us to share the exact experience with this person!

Pointers: trouble,  success,  Deanne,  my bird, couch potatoes…

They say  “ a problem shared,  is a problem halved”.  Few friends suggest options towards a solution,  or have the desire to aid the healing.  Few folk stand prepared to stop for a while,  or make the time to listen,  setting aside their own obligations,  in order to give advice from the heart.  Beware of the cynical few,  who don’t have a moment to give you the time of day.  They prefer to feed on your pain,  add oil to your fire of suffering,  increasing its momentum.  They derive a sadistic pleasure,  by pouring salt onto your wounds.  They celebrate your trouble.  The hole that they want dug for you,  is the one they fall into.  This is precisely how Karmic Laws reduce evil in the world.  Endogenous energies and forces in nature mobilise,  to rid itself of rot; to eliminate that which destroys.  This is Nature’s  Survival Instinct in action:  positive energies feed on each other,  gathering momentum,  whereas negative energies are squashed and strangled.

We should learn to be happy when others succeed,  because of our magic connection with all creation.  We will all get a turn to enjoy moments of glory.   It is a case of choosing the correct path,  which enables us to absorb Karmic Energies.  We should not begrudge others the opportunity to smile on the stage of life,  with the spotlights of success shining on them.

Deanne is the kindest person I have ever met.  An aura of love radiates from her,  almost like an invisible halo.  I believe she is one of the very few,  who are selected and graced with the Kiss of God deeply branded into her soul.  She has an effortless rapport,  and a unique connection,  with people and animals,  honouring the Inuit belief that everything created has a soul.  I remember a stubbornly-unyielding cow on the small-holding,  refuse to be milked.  When Deanne took control of her udders,  the milk flowed in litres.  A wild horse that nobody could break or brake,  became soft and willing when Deanne rode it.  Animals are finely-tuned into our attitudes towards them,  by the subtle scents that we give off.  Dogs and cats are very alert to odd exceptions amongst people-kind,  like Fanny,  who does not take kindly to animals (notice the anomaly!).  Such people are cold,  and suffer from an aberration in their personalities.  They despise all creation!

Deanne’s  empathy towards stray animals is palpable proof of an almost-Godly power to touch-and-heal their pining souls .  She communicates with all God’s Creatures,  because they sense her powerful love.  Cats find a special place in her heart,  and they rule her home,  like prowling Egyptian gods. 

Deanne’s  dog is her secretary,  who wakes her,  if she happens to oversleep.

When animals shows their teeth,  this is a warning of impending attack.  One must prepare to take flight.  Animals never show teeth when Deanne is around!  She turns the hiss of snakes into hugs of love – a snake-charmer?

When people show teeth,  this is part of an alluring,  inviting,  warm smile.

I am intrigued with a certain type of bird.  I read under the tree and sound our secret love-call to lure her.  Over time we have become special friends.  She approaches from behind,  flies past me,  brushing her wings on my shoulders.  The warmth in the touch of the brush,  is like a kiss.  This happens every time,  without failure.  She chases other birds of her same species away,  because I am exclusively hers,  for the duration that we are together.  I make sure that she enjoys dainty tidbits,  because she loves me.

Nature proves that creatures from completely differing species can get along well together,  if they make a concerted effort.  Why do human beings have such a problem?  I say over and over again:  it is competitive greed that makes us selfish and lonely.  We are creators of our own demise & downfall. 

Accumulating technological gadgets,  fosters our insularity.  The “couch potato”   issue has never been of more relevance than it is at present.

The American Amazon Company sends Videos and D.V.D.’s  all over the world.  Everyone has home-theatre!  I can quite understand why this occurs in South Africa.  Problems of traffic congestion,  being mugged en route,  cars getting high-jacked,  or stolen while parked at the shopping centre,  and the awkwardness of having to switch-to-silent the omnipresent “Tamagotchee”  (cell-phone) during movies on the big screen at cinemas,  is obviated.  South Africa is the only country in Africa where Amazon will not use the existing government postal services, insisting on private couriers,  because their insurance refuses to cover on-going losses of items which are  “Ama-gone” -  disappearing like confetti!  Jack and Jill think of 1001 excuses not to go to school,  because there are so many comforts in the safety of their own home,  rather than venture out,  with lurking elements of danger after they pass through their gate.  When families say goodbye to each other in the morning,  they wonder if they will all be together again when  night falls?  This scenario is becoming really scary!

There are so many different channels… so many different  “soapies”… 

Before we realise it,  the couch is indented with our bum-prints,  the popcorn bowl is empty,  the dog is pining for us to take him for a walk,  and the cat is bored with sleeping in our lap…. 

Ineluctably,  another day has passed…  and we have missed another idyllic sunset…  and we have forgotten to wish our best friend happy birthday…

Remember my smile: Part 15                                   24 June 2008

Pointers: too late,  unconditional love,  a hitchhiker…

The sand in the hour-glass calibrates the enigma of earthly visitors.  This cold fact kicks in with a vengeance,  when the aging process gathers momentum.  The Bible graces us with 70 years;  bonus years,  if we are lucky.  A Jewish boy becomes a Man on his 13^th birthday.  If he reaches 83,  he celebrates a 2^nd induction into Manhood,  again reciting a portion of The Law!

Never forget the birthdays of family & friends.  Being vulnerable,  we wonder whether Granddad appears on Life’s  Stage when he turns 84!   Please God,  let us all dance in health,  with 120 candles on his birthday-cake!

Concert pianist Anna Bender,  in her book “Note van Herrineringe” (Notes of Remembrance),  impresses upon us how quickly the shaky,  scary,  skeletal,  sonorous afternoon shadows grow so long…  the clock of life swings full-circle!

The sombre chimes chide us to  “live our lives as though they end at midnight,  but to plan our lives as though we live forever”,  walking with a multiplicity of dreams….  without the excitement of dreams,  we get felled!

The first 20 years of life are the longest.  Time tick-tocks loudly when we grow older.  The Book of Life nears completion.  In the desert,  when the level of water in the bottle drops,  we hold on tight.  We  get nervous,  once we reach that last drop.  Water is life!   Life is precious!  Life is running out!

The obituary columns start spelling out names of people who were at school with us,  and our mortality becomes a very worrying reality.   Are we next?

The Market Theatre in Johannesburg  promotes local playwrights:  a play that I love is  “Have you seen Zandile?”  about a grandmother who keeps a trunk filled with valuables,  in the hope that granddaughter Zandile returns.  She searches the nearby villages frantically,  in an effort to find her granddaughter.  When Zandile eventually returns,  the trunk awaits her,  but Grandmother has since passed away. Tea-ing with Grandmother is impossible.

In  “The Jazz Singer”,  Sir Laurence Olivier,  the Rabbi,  says a prayer for The Dead [The Kaddish],  because his son marries out of the faith.  Time passes,  and the grudge festers.  When Dad passes away,  rejection lives on in eternity.  The Peace that comes from Forgiveness,  will never prevail!

A vendetta causes friends to fall out…  time passes ineluctably…  they say that after 10 years,  we change to such an extent that if our paths do cross,  we meet as strangers!  We change,  not only in looks,  but in personality! 

An alienated former friend is now a total stranger.  All areas of commonality have dissipated.  We are introduced to a completely new persona!

The good times enjoyed with family and friends are like videos that can be savoured over and over,  by rewinding memories.  That is why travel is so wonderful,  while we are young and mobile.  In our old age,  we can travel back in time,  and through the memories,  relive the highlights.

In Judaism,  we are forbidden to commit suicide,  because God gives and God takes.  We may only take our own lives to avoid gross humiliation by the enemy – a type of martyrdom,  comparable to the Japanese Hara-kiri! 

In the Swartland,  there is a Jewish Cemetery with the grave of a  22-year old man,  who committed suicide in the early 1920’s.  It is an embarrassment for the family,  because custom forces Lewis Peires into a corner,  on his own.  The sun’s last rays shine on him,  yet  In Eternity,  he is never forgiven!

21 years of teaching…  and  1000’s  of students later…  all of them got equal attention,  even after there were pranks and bad behaviour,  I forgave with a smile.  I started a new leaf for each.  Why can’t we have this same unconditional love for each other,  in the real world?  Why can’t we forgive?  Why can’t we be courteous,  helping each other to greater heights?  Why can’t we begin to see the spark of God in everyone we meet? At the end of the day,  “Ubuntu”,  which means  “I am a person because of other people”,  is the only principle left,  that  WILL  save the world!

Even the hitchhiker that we pass,  while we are driving along in the cosy comfort of “Noddy”,  deserves a lift…  she is a woman with jet black hair,  no longer young.  Let’s connect…

We stop.  Fanny is going to the Valley-of-a-Thousand-Hills on holiday,  to spend a week on each hill…  a gift from her daughter-in-law!

She lets us into a secret.  Her husband will not take her long-distance by car,  because she has a weak bladder.  Please can we stop at the garage,  because she has had an accident.  We are sitting with a problem.  She does not have to say a word.  We get the scent of this woman.  We open the windows,  and use aerosol!  We cannot dump her.  The town seems unsafe.

She brings us a chocolate and asks a favour:  can she wedge the washed wet panties in the window?  Half an hour later,  repeat episode!  We drive on,   yellow panty-wings gracing Noddy.  Motorists who pass,  hoot and wave!  They wonder if we are newly-weds,  nervous before the first long night of married life!

At The Bridge,  we visit the Tourist Centre.  Yes,  you guessed right:  Fanny has a wet nappy,  and the laundry attendant has offered dry Noddy’s  wings!

Like the San and Khoi did long before us,  we leave Fanny behind,  safe and smiling,  sucking on a strawberry-flavoured Eskimo-pie!  

Remember my Smile: Part 16                           27 June 2008

Pointers: Bridges and Tunnels…

One lives to learn!  Every encounter with new people we meet,  colours our lives.  We must ensure that life’s  blotting-paper actively absorbs new experiences… 

I will never forget the day Kalie and I arrived in Queenstown.  A few kilometers before we reached the town,  the red fuel-gauge warning-light flickered.  We asked a lady who was carrying a massive bag of maize on her head,  “how far till we reach the town?”  She said  “just over the bridge”,  an innocent answer,  but we are none-the-wiser about distance.  She tried again:  “about half an hour’s  walk”!  One gleans no further wisdom,  unless computational skills kick in: the town is about four to five kilometers away.  We are enlightened about people who live in remote villages,  and their interpretations of life…

A classical-music radio-station advert states that some wishes are unattainable,  referring to these impasses as  “bridges too far”!  That’s  a new one for me,  or is this clever poetic license?  Of course,  we know about  “crossing our bridges,  when we get to them”,   implying that problems will be solved when their heads surface.  We may have to walk over this bridge with a jerry-can full of fuel,  if our tank runs dry before we pit-stop!

When the places I visit possess bridges,  be sure that I lust with a craving to walk over:  I walked over the Sydney Harbour Bridge on the day John Lennon was assassinated.  One feels the life that has been engendered into a bridge.  The midway gaze down through the massive clearance,  to the water below,  and the pulse of potently-palpable power,  is heartrending.  There is always a tempestuous gusty gale blowing during a bridge walk,  and the bridge’s  restless spirit affects one’s  thoughts throughout!

I was moved by the passion of the artists who dominate the walkway,  along Brooklyn Bridge,  in New York.  Those who painted a scene depicting Twin Towers,  can no longer compare the merits of their oil painting with reality!

“The entire skyline has changed”,  says my friend,  Owen,  from Boston, U.S.A.!

San Francisco,  with the pet-name ‘Frisco,  flaunts Golden Gate Bridge,  with security guards prominent every few meters.  There is a foot-path,  cycle-path,  and a number of vehicle-lanes.  For those who suffer fear of heights,  the howling wind induces an awry gust of fear when looking down to the sea.

Before we drive on from the Visitors’  Centre today,  we cat-walk the bridge.  We notice surveillance cameras.  The guard tells us that even though safety apparatus has been installed to prevent people jumping to their deaths,  2 people committed suicide this past Youth Day Long Weekend,  bringing to 67 the number of people who choose to end their lives here!  I have just read an article about a man who placed his head into a bucketful of water in his prison cell,  to end his life!  It must take a terrible courage,  coupled with a momentary madness,  to strike at such a final decision,  blowing all dreams. 

“The Rainbow Bridge”  is where reunion with our long-gone pets takes place.  I will never forget the day I gave my  2 German Shepherd Dogs  up for adoption.  They went off together on the back of an open van.  The smaller one,  Tilla,  in the shadow of his brother,  Zacky.  As their new owner drove away,  their eyes locked with mine,  comforting me with the assurance that we will see each other again at  The Rainbow Bridge.  Maybe this explains my zealous eagerness to walk over bridges,  hoping to be graced with a moment to give them just one more hug…  just  ONE MORE  hug!  While I type this page,  my eyes flood with tears,  because these 2 dogs were my animal-children.  Their on-going providence comes from the coins that I undertake to deposit in charity boxes for all animals.  Let’s  be real…  if they were born in June 1995,  their earthly existence is over!  If they are alive,  they are 91 years old…  no longer able to run alongside the mountain-bike,  and too old to want to frolic in the lake,  or play with swallows in the park.  Every dog has its day. My dogs had a very full day!

The experience of my friend’s heart-failure flits through my mind…  She described the sensation of floating away,  while stretched out on a bed in the Casualty Ward,  pale and soaking in a cold death-sweat.  The fact that she wanted a sandwich from the kiosk,  was a healthy signal…   her heart stabilised again.  She sported such a spontaneous smile,  with a new lease on life…  what we call an  “eye-smile”,  when the soul begins dancing jubilantly!

There is consensus amongst those who have had close-to-death experiences,  that family who have predeceased them,  beckon at the far end of a tunnel,  which is a type of welcoming gesture for the new soul to join them.  Those on the far end,  seem to egg the newcomer into taking  The Great Dive.

We come into the world with our hands clutching at life,  yet we leave with our hands held open,  verifying the fact that only the good we did,  remains behind.  None of life’s  material comforts that we enjoyed,  accompanies us.  This forced lesson in humility,  is The Great Leveler,  or The Great Equaliser for all people-kind.  Is our hand open in readiness,  for someone to hold at this final moment,  just before we pass over the bridge,  or just before we swim through the tunnel,  in order to spend eternity with our ancestors? 

We get a foretaste of this experience during our lives,  which is maybe a preparation for the real event.  That hollow feeling during sleep when suddenly we imagine we are falling out of bed,  but we do not hit the floor!  It’s an uncanny experience,  hard for me to describe succinctly:  a close similarity is when a plane goes into a sudden air-pocket,  and we experience a strange floating,  as though part of us moves ahead of the body!

Inside The Sistine Chapel in Rome,  is Michaelangelo’s  wondrous painting of The Hand of God giving Life to Adam!

Shaking hands is a Peace Greeting,  which emulates a life-giving warmth which passes through two people in the bonding of a handshake,  which is uniform throughout the world.  Every single person’s  hand has a different warmth,  and a unique grasp.  One knows immediately from the feel in the texture of the skin,  whether a person is a handyman or whether he sits at a desk holding a pen,  or in front of a computer.  The callused tips of a steel-string guitar-player tells its story.  An artist’s hands will have a very creatively-romantic shape!

The South African handshake goes though a number of phases,  with the grip of the fingers pointing to an eternal bond,  and the final brushing of thumbs,  promising an eternal brotherly relationship!

After having cut the grass with shears,  someone once said that with such soft hands,  it is obvious that I never do any hard work!!  What does one say to this person?  I just smile!  It is sometimes better than the best of answers!  God knows The Truth,  so why let these people put our backs up?

Philip Roth’s  description in  “American Pastoral”  is a masterpiece:  “There are a hundred different ways to hold someone’s  hand.  There are the ways you hold a child’s hands,  the ways you hold a friend’s hand,  the ways you hold an elderly parent’s  hand,  the ways you hold the hands of the departing and of the dying and of the dead”.

We are smiling with the joys of life.  They say that we do not know enough about life,  to be afraid of death.  The secret of life,  is to live in the present moment.  We will never jump from the bridges over which we delight to walk.  And when it is time to take leave of life,  and swim through that tunnel to be with our ancestors,  we will do so willingly,  knowing that we have lived full lives, to The Greater Glory of God,  &  to enrich the lives of others.

The Director of a cemetery once said that with  1000’s  of people in The-House-of-Forever,  it is the best place to work,  because they are all so well-behaved!  On The Day that We All Rise Again,  he is taking a day’s  leave!

Humour,  Cosmic Love,  and smiles,   will sustain our lives.  Don’t  YOU agree?

Like the words in the songs have it: “Let a smile be your umbrella on a rainy,  rainy day…  whatever will be,  will be”!  Worry…  Don’t  worry…  same thing!

Remember my smile: Part 17                                   30 June 2008

Pointers: Blind, deaf, Jane…

“Que Sera,  Sera,  whatever will be,  will be”.  Worry?  We die!  Don’t worry?  We die!  Why worry??

A blind person shakes the hands of  100  new friends to whom s/he is introduced,  sensing the unique touch and warmth of each hand,  then correctly matches each hand-shake with a name.  Having no sense of sight,  this person’s  other senses are heightened and sharpened significantly. 

A blind man plays keyboard at Golden Acre Shopping Centre,  with such admirable dexterity and feeling.  Our hearts are touched,  and our hands delve into pockets to retrieve coins.  While the jingling sounds of the silver line the dark clouds of his lonely world,  an angelic smile animates his face. 

The bond that sight-challenged people have with their dogs,  enables them to enjoy a freedom that we take for granted.  Labrador dogs have all the innate qualities it takes for them to be trained as guide-dogs:  gentle temperaments,  obedience,  a willing-readiness to dedicate their lives to enrich the lives of their sight-challenged handlers,  locked in darkness. 

Have you ever watched a guide-dog monitor traffic-lights before stepping over the road with his master.  He is trained to listen to the flow of the cars.  I was stumped by a guide-dog at the bus-stop choosing the correct bus.  He did not bark or embark.  He and his handler just stepped on.  Exuding love,  he lay at his handler’s  feet throughout the bus ride.

Even though Beethoven became increasingly deaf,  his angelically-beautiful compositions poured from his soul,  with a forceful momentum.  When life deprives us in one area,  it overcompensates in others.  This is how Laws of Balance work.  Beethoven lives on,  commanding the angels to serenade us every time we hear his especially-beautiful Apassionata,  Pathetique – and my personal favourite – The Moonlight Sonata.  Plaintive magic touches our delicate heart-strings (no pun intended),  precipitating shedding euphoric tears,  for his Ode to Joy,  from the 9^th Choral Symphony. 

What is most admirable in icons who are challenged after losing their senses which connects them with the world,  is an invincible resilience:  what does not does break them,  makes them even stronger.  They have a Titanic Tenacity,  which earns them the power to enrich our lives.  All that was left for Beethoven,  was his music,  so he channeled all his energies into this creative urge,  with The Cosmic Powers on his side,  ensuring added acumen,  because he wanted to heal the world,  and make it a much better place.     

My friend loved strumming her guitar,  and playing her piano.  On-going splitting headaches,  heralded a malignant brain tumour.   Surgery to save her life severed the aural nerves,  resulting in deafness.  All her CD’s became baggage,  and her piano and guitar turned into white elephants.  Her splendid smile transcends time,  and technology keeps her in touch with the world:  she SMS’s her boyfriend,  and she excels  in her Information Technology career.  She and her boyfriend learnt sign-language,  & she still enjoys riding her horses.  By adapting to circumstance,  life continues normally for her. 

It is very essential for all of us,  to adapt our life-styles to ever-changing circumstances.  Being alive is an evolving process,  with daunting challenges.

Jane has a Master’ s  Degree in Psychology.  She decided to widen her field,  setting her sights at acquiring a qualification in Economics.  Before the commencement of the first lecture,  she arrived at the door in a wheel-chair.  She chose this particular college,  because parking facilities for her white Mazda  (whose controls had been modified)  fitted her disability.  She is paralysed from the waist down.  A contraption operated by an electric button,  lowers her wheel-chair from the roof of the car,  she eases herself into the wheel-chair,  propels the rails of the wheels towards the lift,  which takes her to the 3^rd floor lecture.  She wedges herself behind the desk with a soft smile gracing her beautiful face,  and she moves an obstructing chair away by herself.  She makes it clear to fellow-students,  that even though she is disabled,  SHE IS NOT LAME!  Jane’s first assignment -  her interpretation of the interrelationship of the Economic Objectives – is exemplary,  beautifully typed,  and way above the standards which I have got used to expect from her fellow-students.  I kept copies of model-students’ assignments for years,  but because I am assiduously uncluttering my life,  unfortunately these mementos have had to go!  A beautiful,  brilliant student,  with the most impeccable manners,  who went way beyond the call of duty to excel in the course.  I am sure if Jane ever reads this,  she will recognise herself in this description;  I will remember her forever,  and remain proud to have taught students of this calibre.  By now,  she has probably completed a doctorate,  and is excelling in life.  I wish her well! 

Again,  an example of someone who is physically-challenged,  but makes the most of the precious Gift of Life that she has been given,  even though pain,  discomfort,  and uncomfortable stares,  is her ever-present partner in life.

These are lessons in humility from Heroes,  with all the odds against them!

It takes an incredible strength to surmount life’s hurdles.  Being spokes in life’s  cycle,   we have significant roles to play,  so that life’s  wheel rolls on!

Remember my smile: Part 18                                2 July 2008

Pointers: general dealer,  the strong,  competition vs. co-operation,  population…

We all play a role in life’s  ride.  Whether or not we enjoy the journey,  is entirely our choice.  We can choose happy lives,  flaunting radiant smiles,  or act the part of bleak sadness,  with rolling tears. 

My uncle’s  role in life was that of  an  ‘Olde Worlde’   General Dealer.  He sold bread-rolls,  plus a vast variety of other goods,  including wheels.  Bicycles and tricycles  hung from hooks.  Ghosts below the ceiling, rode a ride to nowhere.  His stock-list covered items ranging from pins to pens… pans,  pants,  underpants,  panties and panty-hose were up for grabs;  there was a stream of tissues,  toilet paper,  and tampons…

Uncle opened the door before the rooster’s  harem of hens in the vicinity, started laying.   It was these free-range hens,  which provided the farm-fresh eggs which he sold!  Yes,  uncle’s  shop was in rural suburbia,  where cows grazed on succulent grass,  on meadows undulating with virgin soil.

Pan all cameras to focus on him,  our character currently on life’s  stage. 

We are fascinated to record him finding every item needed by his customers,  then jumping over stacks of boxes,  shifting nests of drawers closed.  Hopscotch is his daily reality.   An assistant would flounder in this undertaking,  because it is impossible for anyone to learn the art and finesse it takes,  to locate speedily the gamut of items listed in his inventory. 

Freezing cold bites into Highveld mornings.  Long before dawn breaks – while night is at its darkest – uncle’s  store-room light dangles bright white,  burning crudely on a long phallic wire,  while he weighs sugar on a primitive brass scale,  with bricks depicting the different weights.  Having sealed the brown packets,  he starts measuring small quantities of flour from a giant sack,  supplied by the wholesaler.  He has sufficient stock to last the day. 

You guessed right… he runs his own mini-factory.  A new day hardly begins,  yet he already looks like a sweet giant snowflake.  A cloud of puffy powder,  settles into a sticky white trail,  carpeting the cold cement floor. 

A Piccanin runs into the shop sporting a one-cent coin,  and leaves with a mouth bubbling two massive cuts of Chappies chewing-gum.  One-cent coins have since been phased out,  because from an Economics perspective,  the metal costs much more to mint than the face value of the coin. 

Uncle fills paraffin containers,  which customers use for igniting one-plate Primus stoves-on-stilts.

Life was slow then.  People had time for each other.  Everyone smiled,  because a smile remains a free commodity,  which benefits poor people:  not only the ones in Paris,  but also gilds all poor people throughout the world! 

Uncle knows all his customers by name,  and he takes a moment to chat.  Those who are immobilised because of punctures,  know where to find a repair-kit.  For a small fee,  he also repairs and services sewing-machines,  and replaces worn or damaged needles.  He has a rainbow collection of coloured cottons,  which would beat the best Haberdashery. 

Those were the days,  my friend…  Quick as a flash,  his scene comes to an abrupt halt,  because a massive shopping centre (the second biggest in the southern hemisphere) opens its doors near to uncle’s  small shop.  Within days,  it gobbles up his meagre profits.  In any event,  he is tired and ready to retire,  yielding the right of way to others,  with a smile on his dial!

It’s  frightening how THE BIG so readily,  and with no compunction or guilty feelings,  swallows the small:  how the Law of Big Numbers biases what is meant to be ‘fair chances’ in the roll of life’s  dice.  The dice are doctored to land with a winning six every time!  This is precisely how the Balance of Nature operates…  with the human species,  too!  Although we are not giant ogres,  it’s  “dog eat dog”!   No,  it’s  far worse than that!!  

The big fish eat all the little fish.  In generic jargon,  this is called  “the Right of Eminent Domain”  with  the wealthy doing exactly as they please,  and the poor man always the rich man’s  dog, (In Afrikaans: die arm man is die ryk man se hond).   In Bernard Melamed’s  novel,  “The People”,  a boy asks his father: “Does good and right win in court?”  The father replies: “No,  my son,  the strong man always wins!”  The men with the gold make the rules.  Yet the poor man will forever own the golden smile.

Ordinary folk are intimidated by those who have  ‘the bucks it takes’:  In the movie  “Fried Green Tomatoes”,  an elderly rich woman drives exactly as she pleases in the parking area,  because she pays enough premiums to be backed and protected by an insurance army,  which will pay to absolve her, and allow her to call the tune to the piper!   Money that is silent,  fixes everything that is crooked.  (In Afrikaans: Geld wat stom is,  maak reg [dit] wat krom is).

Why can’t there be more co-operation and less competition in the world?

Why can’t we listen to the piper, instead of making the noise which spoils his beautiful tune?  Why can’t we just  ‘Live and let live’?

Wouldn’t it be nice if someone brave enough took over uncle’s  business,  keeping that cute little shop alive,  just for the sake of nostalgia?

Twenty years ago,  Chris taught me the English equivalent of the Zulu idiom: “if you aim for the sky,  you may hit the top of a tree;  but if you aim for the top of a tree,  you may never leave the ground”.  This brilliance can be applied as a lesson to help us live our lives vicariously,   enjoying halcyon days,  by setting our sights very high,  with no room for compromise! 

Kahlil Gibran contends that the teacher must take the pupil to the threshold of his own knowledge.  I believe that if you become a teacher,  by your pupils you’ll be taught,  and limits of your own knowledge is expanded beyond belief.  All those brains of brilliance,  are minds that express very deep ideas. 

We have to tune in to each other’s  wave-lengths!  Instead of gobbling each other up,  and ridiculing the small General Dealer,  we should aspire unconditionally to devote time every day to help each other hold onto the fragile cords of existence,  and jointly reap tenfold harvests,  never forcing this miracle to happen.  With team-effort,  it will happen! 

If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.  We experience a natural chemical high,  and a magic rush,  after taking someone from nowhere to somewhere. 

I always dangle the proverbial cheese and carrot in front of people,  in my on-going efforts to instill in them excitement & inspiration,  comparable to unlocking an apparatus which facilitates building breaths of brilliance.  I never resort to using the whip!  Students start off with negative attitudes towards Economics,  then look forward to lectures,  doing so much extra reading on the subject.  It is time now for them to step forward in efforts to curb the inflation spiral going out of control,  strangling South Africa,  & spelling out looming doom,  & crises. 

Thomas Malthas said that population is kept in check by wars and plagues.  I believe that population-control resolves problems of scarcity.  In China,  the government makes it very expensive for couples to produce more than one child.  Confusion crops up because The Bible commands us to go forth and multiply!!!  The planet is already overpopulated,  yet we incorrigibly destroy our beautiful inheritance.  Plants and animal species are being decimated,  and the wondrous Amazon Jungle and Natural Forest,  gets smaller every year.  There are just too few resources to do the rounds.  This triggers competition instead of co-operation.  General Dealers have all been swallowed up,  and the sharks are in control.  What chance does the small man have in surviving the future?  What then happens to the shopping centres,  if we factor into the spiral,  an element of evil greed?

There is a song whose lyrics spell out that in 2020 we will just need to swallow a pill to keep alive,  with no necessity for food!

Remember my smile: Part 19                                       4 July 2008

Pointers: Big organisations,  pockets,  cigarettes & diesel fumes…

As opposed to the packs who network in cahoots,  lured by kick-backs and hush-money,  solitary jackals must remain alert and watch their backs constantly,  in order to survive the prevailing scenario,  where we live in dangerously-interesting times,  smiling if we make it through each new day!

Having a big wallet is the recipe for getting ahead and succeeding.  Notice the service you get,  when the credit cards flash into view!

Legal strength comes to those who sport the most money.  You need bucks before a court will hear your case.  With The Power of Truth on her side,  small Erin Brokovich  took on a big energy company,  which dumped toxic waste.  Having prepared a mammoth credible and convincing brief,  she won,  thereby setting a pioneering precedent!  A woman in South Africa suffered a burnt vagina,  because implicated parties used undiluted acid.  They were found guilty,  but the presiding judge showed little empathy,  granting a pitiful settlement,  far less than an injured race-horse.  This attitude screams with an urgency to review the system.  Can a woman ever smile again,  after permanent damage is inflicted on her by the big boys?  Society does not care.  No-one cares,  until s/he is faced with similar tragedy! 

Individuals in the old South Africa who had the courage to speak up,  were  “removed”.  This programmed them to accept mediocrity when restaurants dished up badly-cooked food.  Instead of summoning management and giving feedback,  patrons just never returned!  So standards slid still further! 

Every industry must nurture a philosophy of on-going improvement & caring. 

Let’s do a random survey around South Africa,  sampling how some giant companies affect our health,  by failing to comply with Economic Objectives to conserve and protect the environment:  Every breath we take,  in towns like Secunda,  Sasolburg and Witbank,  turns the ban on cigarette-smoking in public places,  into a sick joke!  If you walk along Eloff Street or the Grand Parade,  buses waft thick clouds of dark diesel smoke as they chug past.  How many thousand cigarettes must we smoke,  before we suffer similar damage?  The Vaal Triangle,  along the West Coast N7 highway,  and on the outskirts of Mossel Bay,  are fuel refineries which pollute air 24 hours a day.  In the Swartland,  residents of a wine-producing town suffer respiratory problems,  because the vines are sprayed with allergy-causing toxins.  Companies in South Africa have legal departments,  ready to litigate and  “deal with stubborn customers”.  The disinterested directors fob off complaints  “as part of a process”.  Their truck-drivers’  negligence and recklessness,  is forwarded to insurers for investigation.  Why bother to have signs at the back of trucks: “Please report bad driving”  if management does not care one hoot? This pretension is a farce and a gimmick.  Members of the public are Mickey-mice.  Think twice before you mount a scooter.  Surviving today,  means standing a chance of being ploughed down tomorrow! 

Big firms are profit-orientated and have forgotten the loyal public,  who keep them in business.  The principle that  “the customer is always right,  and the client is the bottom line (rather than profit)”,   no longer holds water,  with cold,  cruel,  calculating,  stiff,  cut-throat competition! 

Moths have nibbled holes into my blazer,  which can only be worn in very soft lighting.  I desperately need a new one.  Hunting for a blazer,  is like locating a needle in the haystack.  After discovering that customers hide expensive perfumes,  factories now add stitches,  creating dummy-pockets!  Where is trust?  One feels like a criminal,  with staring security-personnel waiting to pounce.  Shopping is an unpleasant experience:  closed-circuit television monitors every movement.  The radar at entrances are harmful to people with pace-makers.  What effect do these beams have on our health?

Clothing designers care zilch for customers.  They minimise pockets,  whose angle is a pick-pocketer’s  dream.  As you sit down,  valuable articles fall out.  Is it possible then to smile?  An expensive pair of hounds-tooth trousers does not have the essential coin-pocket,  making it a reject!  Nobody kicks up a storm.  Our complacent nonchalance tolerates mediocrity…  allows standards to slide…  turns us into accepting clowns… 

Big companies,  like the late Liberace,  smile all the way to the bank!

For six years,  I lived in the country,  on the outskirts of a village.  A factory using primitive combustion machinery,  operates twenty-four hours a day.  The churning sounds at night,  coupled with the noise of steam,  disturbs residents’  sleep.  If anyone complains,  the excuse is that this factory  was built long before the surrounding suburb developed!!  Neighbours do not mobilise a petition to make their joint voices heard,  so the problem persists,  together with the thick smoke-emissions from chimneys.

Not only is the air becoming polluted,  but also our rivers and the sea.  Some dams are so contaminated that signs warn people not to drink from,  or swim in,  the water.  Fish are poisoned,  resulting in scarcity and escalating prices.  This is a blatantly-vicious cycle of greed.  We have reached day 31,  and only now,  because resources are running dry,  are we starting to worry.

A joint fight to save our planet is a critical call,  in  The Name of Truth and Justice,  and only then will we be able to smile and call it joint progress.

Remember my smile: Part 20                                      7 July 2008

Pointers: pockets (again),  contentment vs. greed,  qualities for success,…

A Hebrew riddle teaches us that if You want to find out the real character of a person,  there are 3 areas of his personality to examine:

q       “How he puts his hand into his pocket?”:  by settling the bill,  and causing the watron to smile with his “tip” of gratitude.  Is there unconditional spontaneity,  or a sour-faced half-measure?  Is it given with all his heart,  or with begrudging? 

q       “What triggers his anger,  and how does he handle being ired?”: our raw natures and true identities come to the fore,  during the times that our feathers are ruffled! 

q       “How does alcohol affect him?”:  with strong drink in his body,  all the  thoughts that are on his lungs,  readily come onto his tongue.  He eagerly speaks his heart out,  calling a spade a spade,  and he tells you The Truth!

“We live in a world where people do not know what they want,  but they are prepared to go through hell to get it”!!  If the Jones’s  have it,  then we must have it as well.  The Economics ideal of  “function before form” (what a thing does,  being more important than how it looks),  does not count,  if we are on a mission to impress everyone with flashy possessions…

Mother Teresa,  the Nobel laureate,  is said to have left only 2 saris and a bucket behind as worldly possessions,  but she earns more respect than queens,  kings,  and billionaires.  Her nickname is  “Saint of the gutters”!   Actor Paul,  who hails from Cape Town,  maintains that the  “Bergies”  (Poor folk,  who live in the hills – Hillbillies?) ridicule the city-folk,  with all their flashy possessions,  and their concomitant worries,  which cause ulcers,  wondering how they live inland,  without longing for the restless sea and the eternal mountain.  There is a Biblical saying cautioning us that  “the more possessions we own, the more worries we have”!  Is this a lesson about our material world,  and the  ‘Material Girl’  Madonna sings about?

It seems like an enigma…  a frenetic chase aimed at trapping wind (in Afrikaans: ‘n gejaag na wind) – a contradiction in terms,  because in the end,  “the last clothes, have NO pockets!!  We have to be very cautious,  because pocket linings spring holes,  resulting in the loss of precious items… 

George Bernard Shaw’s  philosophy is that  “there are 2 tragedies in life: to get your heart’s  desire,  and not to”!  People never seem to achieve happiness,  even when they have everything,  with all their acquisitiveness!

In Bryce Courtenay’s  “The Power of One”,  elderly Doc chooses the quiet contentment of a reclusive hermit…  a troglodyte?  No,  not quite a cave-dweller,  even though he enjoys a spiritual Spartan retirement,  with minimal possessions to fill his small cottage,  which is dominated by the ethereal beauty of an ancient baby-grand piano.  He realises that as one gets older,  losing people and possessions is part of the art of detachment.  Detachment is one of the key principles taught in the Bhagavad Gita (The Song of God).  It must be so lonely,  living away from the clamouring crowds of a competitive world,  but Doc prefers stillness and silence,  which enables him to master,  and savour,  the solace of solitude.  These are the dictates of his soul,  craving preparation for a journey of elevated spiritual refinement.  Doc enjoys his ritual daily walks into the hills,  to commune with,  and become one with,  nature.  This is how he maintains his strength and stamina,  well into old age.  He unclutters his life,  surrounding himself with only carefully-chosen meagre possessions.  This all he needs.  This is all he wants.  This is all that matters.  

Feeding greed with the concomitant craving to own more,  is precisely the opposite sentiment to the life which Doc chooses to lead. 

Einstein also lived on his own in the country.  Being a maverick (independent-minded),  he discovered how the monotony of a quiet life,  stimulates the creative mind.  Thriving on an indomitable (lovely word introduced to me by Ronelle) spirit,  he flourished where others would have withered and faded away,  because of their gregarious (constantly craving company) leanings,  not being able to cope alone.   

I always say that God gives us what we NEED,  not what we WANT.  Sometimes His Providence provides much more than we ever wanted!  Isn’t this phenomenon so very ironical? 

Temporal (so close-sounding to temporary),  worldly,  earthly,  material,  carnal (carnivorous? = meat-eating) animal-craving’s,  embraces an instinct to devour and gobble up everything that can be grabbed.  The moment this type of person wakes up,  he thinks of five words:  WHAT’S  IN IT FOR ME?

Two wild dogs fight to the death for that piece of meat neither of them will ever enjoy.  The Latin idiom kicks in here:  “whoever arrives late,  finds only bones”,  which places us in a dilemma,  if we are hungry for that scarce piece of meat,  what are we supposed to do?

Locking horns,  two deer are jointly-unable to lower their heads to eat again:  their fight has connected them,  until they succumb to a death caused by starvation…

The uncomfortable feeling of indigestion,  followed by the untamed greed of overeating,  results in hours of indigestion.  Pain always seems to balance pleasure!  Self-control – where the head rules our carnal desires and stomachs – makes us smile,  because we have mastered the art of moving away from our animal instincts.  The Bhagavad Gita teaches us that hell has three gates: lust,  anger,  and greed!

Maturity,  and its consequent success,  occurs once we learn to discipline the ever-present child in us (a Freudian concept),  by having the patience to postpone a present pleasure,  for much greater future rewards and harvests.  In so-doing,  we invest in ourselves.  A part of our day should be dedicated to recharging our batteries,  to keep our brains active and alert.  Those of us who read daily newspapers and keep abreast of technology,  are given the tools to enrich our lives.   We will not readily succumb to conditions like Alzheimer’s  Disease,  which slows down the normal functioning of the brain.

The recipe which hands us the key to success,  has six essential ingredients:  courtesy,  charity,  humility and wisdom,  sincerity,  personal integrity…

ü      Courtesy:  Politeness is the behaviour expected from kings.  Let us emulate this example.  Kindness costs nothing.  The new credo condemns kindness as weakness.  Let us rather promote old values,  where people respected each other.  If we want to earn respect, we have to give respect.  Being abrupt and impolite,  will never make people look up to us.

ü      Charity:  The Bible urges us to cast our bread onto the waters,  having no ulterior motive,  and expecting nothing in return.  We will later inexorably reap tenfold benefits.  Kahlil Gibran encourages us to give while we are still alive,  so that the choice and pleasure of giving is ours,  rather than that of those who inherit from us.

ü      Humility and Wisdom:  Kahlil Gibran submits that  “knowledge is your true patent of nobility,  no matter who your father,  or what your race may be”. Knowledge is the wing, which gives us the power to fly to heaven!                  Perspicacity is a word Melanie taught me.  It means having mental penetration or discernment,  with its overtones of blazing wisdom.          Wisdom comes with 3-D’s:  having the desire,  the determination,  and the dedication to increase knowledge.  Swallowing a bottle of confidence also helps!   The book “Forrest Gump”,   teaches us that  “the mind of the idiot-savant has rare pockets of brilliance”.  We all have the potential to harness this rare commodity we call  “wisdom”!  As we achieve added wisdom,  we become more earthy and real.  Nothing besides wisdom has the power of purity.  Wisdom is the instrument which earns us freedom.  We think of the maxim relating to our vulnerability:  “the wind passes over it,  and it is no more”.  We are just fragments of a vast creation.  Our momentary existence on planet-earth is negligible,  compared to aeons of time.   I think of Professor Stephen Hawkins,  who is such a gentle person,  with Titanic Wisdom housed in a frail body.  We should give all glory to God,  remembering that we are His instruments.  When people say that I play the piano well,  my answer is that I play to serenade My God,  The Angels,  and everyone who takes the time to listen,  my wish being that music stirs their souls,  and makes them happy!  After my Special Friend – who was a professional water-colourist -  suffered a stroke,  losing her ability to paint,  I realised that we can lose The Gifts That God Gives us in one fell swoop.  She still smiles that celestial smile,  and having the will to live on,  she has learnt to paint with the left hand,  while giving art classes as well!  A remarkable person,  and a paragon example for all of us,  never to give up!  We are all just a breath away from death.  Why then be pretentious,  and why take the credit?  All Glory be to God!  The wisdom He bestows,  is the greatest gift that we will ever receive during our temporary sojourn on planet earth.

ü      Sincerity:  For me,  this is being real.  A person can only hold onto a false façade and a plastic veneer – an unreal front and an ugly cover -  for a short period,  after which true colours filter through,  and the REAL YOU comes to the fore.  Yes,  again it is calling a spade a spade.  We must remember to use finesse when being sincere.  People will always try to look younger.  If granny wears a mini-skirt,  we should never say that she looks like mutton dressed up as lamb!  My fervent belief in the Truth overrides all,  but I suggest we be subtle,  and not hurt delicate feelings.

ü      Personal Integrity:  Judge Mac Arthur submits  “if you do not have integrity,  you have nothing”.  Integrity is wholeness,  soundness,  uprightness,  and honesty.  With integrity,  comes DIGNITY,  which makes for an acronym: Doing In God’s Name Incredible Things Yourself!  I will teach the Economics Syllabus to the best of my ability,  but because I value my integrity,  I cannot give students the answers to assignments,  which they are supposed to research on their own.

Whether it rains or whether there is sunshine,  let there always be a song in your heart,  and a smile on your face.  I say Goodbye until we meet again,  “Goodbye”  being a slurred contraction of God (and Good) Be with Ye (You)!

Remember my smile: Part 21                                       9 July 2008

Pointers: Las Vegas vs. Carlsbad,  progress vs. murder…

Every “Goodbye” moves full-circle,  to begin with a renewed “Hello”  again!  The stars presage that our paths shall always cross,  over and over… 

In Hebrew,  the greeting is  “Shalom”,  whose translation has three meanings:  “Hello,  Peace,  and Goodbye”…

We smile and say  “Goodbye”  to the hills of the Eastern Transvaal (Mpumalanga),  near to the Kruger National Park,  where Doc’s  spirit lives forever.   We then swoop across to another continent – America! 

After greeting everybody with a smile and a  “Hello”,  we join a coach-tour for a short while,  in order to get a taste of contrasts… 

We imbibe the serenity of the Nevada desert,  experiencing the ineffable vastness of open spaces,  with a feeling of being in tune with the infinite.  Like an oasis,  the beckoning neon lights of Las Vegas flash into sight.  We enter a plastic world of make-believe,  futile rushing around,  flashing jewelry,   and vacuous stares on a sea of faces around casino tables,  whose tension and anxiety,  spell out an urgent urge to become winners. 

A palpable sadness,  and a desire to rush away from this disconcerting claustrophobia,  overwhelms us. 

Conventionally,  we sport smiling countenances,  which infect the lives of others in pure and positive ways.  

Charlie Chaplin,  in the lyrics of his song,  “Smile”,  eggs us on:  “Smile,  though your heart is aching,  even though it’s  breaking.  When there are clouds in the sky,  you’ll  get by,  if you smile through your fear and sorrow.  Smile and maybe tomorrow,  you’ll  see the sun comes shining through for you.  Light up your face with gladness,  hide every trace of sadness.  Although a tear may be ever so near,  that’s  the time you must keep on trying.  Smile!  What’s the use of crying?  You’ll  find that life is still worthwhile,  if you’ll  just smile!” 

A smile is hard as toffee-brittle,  during our thankfully short-lived stay in Las Vegas,  with all the hustle,  rustle,  and turbulence. 

I just crave a simple bite-of-bread,  and cosy comfort under the feathers…  on my own,  away from the buzz of air-conditioning,  the sharp,  cold lights,  the  noise,  and the rude rush.  A brisk walk along  ‘The Strip’  takes us back to the Landmark Hotel.

Before I float into the soothing arms of sleep,  strident thoughts engulf me,  conjuring up ghosts of memory,  which start parading around erratically,  with hands flaring out,  in a selfish egotistical grabbing.  Cascading streams of winning coins,  cough out of the one-arm bandits – cruel cacophonous noises,  not conducive to the soul’s  survival,  stunting the soothing caresses of the fingers of sleep. 

Our Special Friend,  Doc,  would flee back to his cottage in the hills,  a sleep-deprived neurotic,  after just one peep at this cagey gambling joint!

I then dream of meeting the tomato farmer,  who once told me that            

I am lucky to be in a position  “to live for myself”!!                                            This farmer boasts about living ‘for other people’: his wife and children!!

From a pedantic perspective,  our families are really extensions of ourselves!

Being so enveloped in pride,  even though he hears me,  he does not LISTEN,  when I try to explain about all the students I have enriched with the gift of knowledge,  throughout my 21 years in education.  I chose  The Calling  to dedicate myself towards grooming others,  in a selfish,  self-centred world. 

In the strict sense of the word,  living for others is aiming to embrace and realise the sentiment of doing something for the improvement and betterment of ever-widening concentric circles in the community,  so that society as a whole reaps rippling benefits…  Living for The Family of God!!

During a woodwork class in Standard 7,  I helped my friend overcome a problem with a table that he was building.  When evaluation-time came along,  my table remained incomplete.  The moral that kicks in here,  is that sometimes when we devote too much of our lives to helping others,  we neglect ourselves in the process,  and it’s  sometimes too late for reparation! 

Ethics of The Fathers instructs us that  “if I am not for myself,  no-one will be for me”,  which reminds us not to neglect ourselves,  while we help others.

You know what?  I can help a thousand people,  but a thousand people cannot help me.  The day I lose my independence,  and become reliant on others to do things for me,  will be the day my spirit readies for a dive to that tunnel. 

My music teacher never married.  At 94,  she was a sprightly “Miss”.  After a hip operation,  it was difficult for her to care for herself,  so she landed up in an Old Aged Home.  Some of the insensitive staff,  facetiously rubbed in her longevity,  by constantly referring to her as  “Granny”!  She explained that she is not a granny,  because she does not have grandchildren.  They refused to understand her logic,  with the repeated  “Granny”,  rubbing in her aged condition.  I  believe fervently,  that this was a contributing factor that weighed heavily in her relenting on life,  within weeks of moving into this Old Aged Home.  The damage our words can inflict on others, is amazing. 

Having thankfully moved on from Las Vegas,  we arrive at a place called Carlsbad,  where we stop to visit the caves.  I am moved to the marrow,  when I think of all the work that went into making the caves accessible to people in wheel-chairs,  who can propel themselves along cemented paths,  to enjoy most of the caves’  viewing-areas. 

Technology provides voice-recordings at each stage of the caves,  which gives informative and interesting historical facts to visitors.

I now take a look at this keyboard,  and am so pleased to be able to compliment the thoughtfulness of the manufacturers,  for providing Braille markings of the  ‘F’  &  ‘J’  index-finger  Home-keys,  making the keyboard user-friendly to blind typists!  This concern,  earns them A Double Blessing!!

A very innovative new advertisement which appears in today’s newspapers, was placed by a fuel company: it shows two arms reaching out over a river to join in strength,  facilitating a man on his bicycle to cross over.  Four birds fly exuberantly high overhead,  emphasising the freedom we create when we work together,  to improve and heal the world.  I BELIEVE THERE IS HOPE!

In the same newspaper,  we are educated  “how to live through a robbery”:  submitting,  being obedient,  making no noise,  exercising self-control,  not making eye-contact,  and showing ‘them’  where our valuables are!  Contrasts like these,  that shout at us in our daily lives,  are boundless!

It must have taken incredible love for a Nobel prize-winning author to have endured a traumatic hold-up in her Johannesburg home,  during which her attackers demanded to be directed to the safe,  and for her to part with her wedding ring – the only remaining bond with her deceased husband!

We met the man who is too embarrassed to ask for directions when he gets lost.  Having suffered financial loss,  this same man will decimate his wife and children,  then finish it off,  by pointing the gun at his own head.

The stretch of road that leads to a hotel in the Cathedral Peak area of the Drakensberg,  was built by the hotel-owner himself!  It is amazing how some people have such an innate ability to create.  This man’s  creative urges has passed onto his daughter,  who is an artist who paints beautiful oils! 

Progress has enabled us to clone Dolly the sheep,  yet at the same time,  we have become so blatantly barbaric! 

Recent statistics,  which does anything but comfort us,  spells out that after Colombia,  South Africa has the notoriety of qualifying as the second-most-murderous-country in the world.

Murder is an externalisation of hatred.  It is the most extreme form of giving vent to anger,  and points to a lack of self-love and self-control.

Remember my smile: Part 22                                          10 July 2008

Pointers: Creating vs. destroying, Truth vs lies…

Like Shakespeare’s  plays,  an artist’s  beautiful oil paintings will live forever. People like these,  have fulfilled their earthly mission,  by making the world a better place.  The road that the man built,  together with the hotel and its surrounding scenery – the “serenery” (Melanie coined this word) – gives pleasure to thousands of holiday-makers!

Why,  then,  do some people have a bent for taking life?  Is it because they have a paucity of self-love,  and a dire shortage of self-control?

“Know thyself”,  say the philosophers of old.  A friend advises me that it is important to ‘have coffee with yourself’  every now and then!  This gives you the opportunity to examine your deepest thoughts.  Smile in the mirror, learn to love yourself,  then reach out and love your family.  Spread your cosmic love-net out even further,  by loving members of your community,  then loving all citizens of the land of your birth,  and eventually your unconditional love will exude towards all God’s  creations,  throughout the world – reaching animals,  birds, flowers,  and trees everywhere;  embracing everything that has a life-force,  including the wind,  the sea,  and the mountains…

God’s  creatures have an inherent and innate love for us.  Think of the dog,  which will love its owner unconditionally,  all the days of its life,  and even immediately after it has been kicked. 

Dogs are so eager to help us.  I think of sniffer-dogs which help in drug-busts,  and more recently: dogs which are being trained to smell and detect certain types of cancers.  I smile to learn that police dogs in Britain,  will soon have to wear specially-made socks,  when they are used to search Moslem houses or Mosques,  the respect dictated by their religion. 

There is a comprehensive newspaper article of how falcons enjoy being trained and domesticated,  to savour the combined-enjoyment of synchronising their energies with dogs,  in a joint-hunt! 

It is incredible how animals yearn to be of assistance to Mankind…  I think of the Parrot that loves going for a walk with its owner,  and animals in the circus,  which are taught so many different kinds of tricks.  This is a lesson for us,  that everything in creation has a mission: to add worth,  so as to enhance the beauty of God’s  creation.

From an ethics point of view,  I think man oversteps his mark by trying

to take over The Role of God in creation,  and he should be discouraged from doing this: imagine a world filled with millions of identical people,  all having the same personalities… Millions of identical  “Dolly, The Human”,  as opposed to  “Dolly, the sheep”!  No!  Let’s  stop here!!

Then we get the murderers,  those who abort creation.  Latest research indicates that the perpetrators of violent crimes and murders,  are getting younger. 

To understand where people are coming from,  it is important to stand in their shoes for a moment in time,  without ever sanctioning their actions. 

The youth of today grow up bored and restless,  facing a future without jobs or meaningful careers.  They are forced to compete at very tender ages,  for an ever-decreasing number of prizes.  Too many of them feel left out,  and this becomes very frustrating.  There is an inherent culture of effortless goal-attainment… they notice the fast  [‘before’  and  ‘after’]  advertisements which improve all areas of life,  but the catch-line is that this requires the outlay of a lot of money.  It seems to them that cash casts the magic wand,  bringing on euphoric changes,  & ensuring lives of luxury and leisure,  coupled with pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. 

The Biblical injunction,  “by the sweat of your brow,  will you earn your bread”,  no longer seems to have any relevance,  because technology does all the hard work and all the thinking,  on our behalf. 

Prince Harry is currently visiting Lesotho,  where he is personally involved in commendable charity projects.  The newspapers make a big issue of him dirtying his hands,  by photographing him pushing a wheel-barrow – such a normal thing,  that makes  A Man out of a boy! 

Dad always said: “Be ready to dirty your hands. Don’t dirty your heart”!

Why do people kill?  There is a definite pattern,  when a man kills his family.

He wants to spare them the hardship and the pain of going though difficult financial times without him.  He does it because he is desperate & despaired.

Peter Shaffer’s  play,  “Equus”,  is about a boy who gouges out the eyes of horses,  because he generalises in his mind,  that all horses stand guilty of having seen him,  while he was involved in a misdemeanour,   which rattles his brain,  and pricks at his conscience.  Even though he mangles all horses in sight,  his hand remains stained with evil,  and his guilt shadows him when night falls.

Similarly,  people recognise characteristics in others,  of which they disapprove,  and without even knowing that person,  want to resort to using daggers,  in order to eliminate the memories which take them back to similar conflicting times.

A lecturer once told a student that he was useless,  and that he would never amount to anything in life.  He was publicly humiliated,  and he proceeded to kick in the lockers during the break.  In a way,  daggers lanced his soul,  and one should be grateful that he did not fling himself out of the 6^th floor window,  to escape invidious public embarrassment.

A teacher admonished a lad to go and stand outside the classroom.  He was nowhere to be found,  except much later as a hanging corpse in his parents’ garage.  He was eleven years old.  How could that teacher live with the memory of a young life being truncated on a noose in a garage?

So we succeed in killing a part of each other,  in the thoughtless things that we say.  We shoot invisible daggers at each others’  souls!  What in actual fact happens,  is that we externalise our dissatisfaction,  because we have not learnt to love ourselves.  How is it possible to love others,  before we learn to love ourselves?  We must LEARN to love ourselves,  because each of us is infused with the magic Spark of God which ignites us, & gives us power.

The most virulent manifestation of this type of dagger,  is where a woman lost her husband,  and tried to find a new soul-mate.  Her sister rounded up the entire family,  in an effort to tame this woman,  by trying to place her in an old-aged home,  even though she had done nothing abnormal or illegal!  The negative intentions of trying to seize a person’s  freedom in this way,  murders a part of the happiness in her soul forever.  There can never be reparation,  even if one says  “SORRY”  a million times!  The damage is done forever.  This same woman has got her second wind,  and is producing prolifically as a published author,  with about 50 books to her credit already!

I believe that the law of retribution rebounds on people who have evil mind-sets.  They suffer a very prolonged and painful end,  as their reward for the damage that they tried to inflict on others.  God is watching us.  He knows our every thought!

You will never take Truth from this teacher,  who will never teach students that you spell “TRUTH”  as  “L – I-E-S”,  and that  1 + 1  equals  6!

After botched mouth surgery,  I realised how doctors who try to save face,  pay the legal fraternity to twist truth,  which makes a mockery of the principles which uphold my career.  And to think that amongst my students are lawyers,  who would be prepared to silence my efforts to uphold Truth,  if they are paid enough.  I smile,  even though my face and neck muscles fail me.  The doctor’s negligence severed my Trigeminal Nerve,  resulting in stiff spasms,  when I chew or speak.  There is enough money to try to convince The-Powers-That-Be that the damage caused by the negligent doctor,  who has a history of medical negligence,  and whose damage has ruined my lecturing career and stolen my quality of life,  is  “a pre-existing condition,  in my imagination”.  This false logic is not in tune with the music of my Truth! Daggers are aimed at my sanity,  to boot.  Other doctors implicated,  then tried to give me medication,  whose side-effects would have caused stiffness,  shaking,  and sudden death.  They tried to bury me with my Truth!  I have no fears,  even after having received Death Threats from the lawyer who I paid to represent me,  who actually did everything in his power to spoil my case! 

As a teacher,  I  try my best to smile,  but like the hotel-owner,  My Calling is to open a road for fellow South Africans,  so that they do not suffer similar torture. 

Life can be so beautiful,  but there is always a snake in every paradise.  (In Afrikaans: “Daar is ‘n slang in elke paradys”).  One has got to remain calm,  but remember always to be the alert jackal! 

I think that when we are at our most comfortable,  Satan steps closer and he waits to give us a knock.  There will always be a wall of fire to protect you,  if you have noble thoughts.  You will side-step any master-plan to cause your demise and downfall,  because God is on the side of those who have pure motives to further His Plans. 

Use every precious moment to colour the world.  Live without fear! 

Remember my smile: Part 23                                                14 July 2008

Pointers: Hello again,  more facets of smiling,  being fearless,  our Dog and life’s lessons…

A Hallowed,  Holy  “Hello”  again,  to all of You! 

“Hello,  Dolly!”  is a musical,  made long before the days of cloned Dolly,  the sheep. 

Charlie Chaplin’s  old song, “Smile”,  has been encouraging people for many years,  together with his other song from the movie,  “Limelight”,    which promises that he’ll  be loving us  “Eternally”!   “This is my song”,  is another of Charlie Chaplin’s compositions.  Besides appearing in his  “penguin outfit” (top-hat and tailcoat),  as an actor,  Chaplin wrote these beautiful songs,  which colour our lives forever!

We continue to feature on life’s  stage,  retaining roles in the limelight eternally,  providing that we smile,  and always have a melody beating,  to warm our hearts! 

Sometimes it is difficult to smile,  so during these times we try a half-smile,  but at least let there be the shadow of a smile,  to light up our faces,  and smooth out the lines of a frown,  caused by worries and concerns of modern-day life…

A smile vivifies,  and revives lost youth.  The lines of laughter are unique demarcations,  earned over many years.  So keep on smiling!

Let us pause to ingest a healthy sentiment:  “May God, at this very hour,  bring you something special: a thought that makes you smile, a smile that warms your heart, and a heart that that holds much happiness inside”! 

We must be ready to smile for the Blue Moon,  which is the name given to the second full moon appearing in one calendar month. 

My friend,  Wayne,  always ends off his letters with Cosmic Love,  which is a boundless,  unconditional love that he shows towards everyone.  Because Wayne is a Horticultural Specialist,  he devotes his life to nurturing plants,  and he goes beyond the call of duty,  by adopting animals in distress.  In his correspondence,  he always adds:  “look to the moon,  and think of me,  because I will be thinking of you”.   Is this not a beautiful sentiment,  from a beautiful soul? 

The moon always adds a splendid incandescent romance to the stage of life.

The convention after “Hello!”,  is  “How are you?”.  This is an anomalous contradiction in itself,  because when people say  “Hello”,  it is really a greeting,  AND NOT A QUESTION!!   “How are you?”  does not call for an entire agenda of answers,  spelling out the condition of one’s  health! 

I dare you to try spilling out the details of a negative experience,  and see how quickly you frighten people away,  with their euphemistic  “sorry,  but I have so much to do before the sun sets;  I will certainly make time to listen to your sad story next time”.  Believe me,  it’s  going to be a long wait!   People want to be surrounded by the sweet smiles of happy people.  For this reason,  they will be inclined to avoid us,  if our stories are sour!  People have enough burdens of their own,  to contend with!

Dad always said that if each of us placed our problems into respective bags,  then examined the contents of these bags,  we would run fast as lightning to retrieve our own bags of problems.  This is a wake-up call,  and a refresher-lesson,  alluding to the aphorism that before complaining that we have no new shoes to wear,  we must think of those who have no feet!  There,  by the Grace of God,  go we…

I built up en entire repertoire of answers,  which incited a chorus of laughter,  after students asked how I am.  Firstly,  if someone has just returned from an energising jog in the fresh air,  pouring with healthy perspiration,  why ask them how they are?  It is obvious that they are charged with the joys of life.

Okay,  now for some other answers that I use,  when people ask  “How are you?”:

·        Compared to whom? …  at what?

·        You are not a doctor,  so why are you so interested. (I know that it sounds obnoxious,  but it is always said in jest!).  In any event,  if we were all pictures of radiant health,  doctors would play bankrupt!  Ha! Ha!  The chemists do a roaring trade,  selling the medications and supplements which doctors prescribe.  One must always check the contra-indications (side-effects) of medicine,  before we dare to swallow!   With all due respect,  my strong contention is that medication should be taken only in life-threatening situations.  Our forefathers never took supplements or vitamins,  and they lived till a ripe old age!  My Maternal Grandfather worked almost till the last.  He was strong as a lion,  and he lived till  94!   He took no medication.

·        How do I look?  They answer that I look fine.  Then I rejoin by asking them why did they ask how I am,  in the first place?

·        I might say:  “I don’t  know how I am,  because I have not had the time to examine myself (yet)”!

Why should we allow anxiety to control us,  and live lives of fear?  We get strangled by the creeping neurotic concerns about  the  ‘things that may or may not’  happen to us?  We should rather be involved in bringing to the fore our full potentials,  to make us blossom fully,  and consequently enjoy lives aimed at earning us eventual freedom.  Without any pretensions,  let us show the world the person that we are really meant to be! 

“If you always try on the outside to be a person which you are not on the inside,  then you are actually a prisoner” (Stephan Joubert).  

We must live fully in the present,  which is a gift from God!  Depriving ourselves of the pleasure which present enjoyment offers,  is a deficiency we bring on ourselves,  because of unnecessary concerns about a possible foolish,  crossfire stray-bullet,  which may or may not hit us or our families,  during a possible hold-up at a petrol station.  This is tantamount to wasting time trying to evade two certainties – Taxes and Death!  It is interesting to note that in Afrikaans,  “dwars & dwaas”,  two similar-sounding words – whose meanings respectively are “cross & silly” – lend us these ideas,  and their concurrent overtones!  Let us not be silly,  but rather get on with the process of living – and enjoying – each moment to the full…  NOW,  IN THE PRESENT,  WHICH IS A GIFT!

Whatever is meant to be,  will be!  Nothing can stop events from happening.  Of course,  we have to take care,  but our lives are already mapped out for us,  and we must assume our specific roles,  in acting out the best character-parts allotted to us,  with all the energies that we can muster!  Yes,  “The Perfect Play”  of our lives has already been written by God.  We are just the puppets which He chooses for His amusement,  and He knows exactly what the future holds for each of us,  so pull as much as we like at the strings of life,  we remain His for the taking!  We must only do His work,  and dance when He tells us,  to the tunes that He loves,  with stunning smiles,  perfect strength,  courage,  faith and fortitude! 

Only then,  will He love us,  because we acceded to believe in Him!

We must cultivate faith strong enough,  to implement as a coping-mechanism,  and we must remember the secret of being so engrossed in our productive lives,  that we never have the time to worry about that silly,  stray bullet!  In so-doing,  we forget about ourselves completely,  together with any worries,  aches and pains.  Moving away from our own problems,  helps them to resolve themselves,  with a serendipitous momentum! 

In any event,  we should cling to the power of  ‘holding thumbs’,  because it is said that  “luck occurs,  when that stray bullet hits somebody else”!

“UMUNTU NGUMUNTU NGABANTU”: I am ever-grateful to my student,  Chris,  for sharing this (Zulu?) Wisdom with me in 1992.  I have referred to it before,  in these writings,  but because of its immediate relevance,  I allude to it again!  It translates as  “a person is a person,  because of other people”.  If we are busily engrossed in helping each other,  the time for worrying about ourselves is reduced,  and there is so much resultant,  joint,  positive energies,  which warms up the coldest day,  without using a heater,  and thus saving power for Escom! 

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives,  therefore let us make a good start,  by putting this wisdom about networking with others,  and helping others,  into practice! 

These are some hints,  which serve as a help,  to make us feel good about ourselves:

§         take one day at a time 

§         make time to be alone 

§         make time to laugh 

§         take time to move our bodies 

§         prioritise,  and do what is important or difficult first,  then the rest of the day takes care of itself 

§         constantly clear out the clutter in our lives.  Again,  I must share wisdom Kalie taught me:  “If we have not used something for six months,  we should think very seriously of getting rid of it,  in order to simply our lives”!   While I am so engrossed with the enjoyment of writing down these inspirational thoughts,  I am persuaded to go through,  consolidate,  and crystallise,  all the cuttings that I have collected and hoarded like a Magpie,  over many years,  sharing the results of this research with my Readers! 

§         build up a support network of people,  who will jump in to your rescue,  when the going gets tough 

§         be careful when making promises,  because a promise is like a debt that has to be paid.  (The Afrikaans translation is: “beloftes maak skuld”)

§         breathe deeply,  as this helps you relax,  and sends oxygen to your brain,  allowing you to think more clearly 

§         say  ‘YES’  to life,  by embracing everything with a positive attitude

§         commune with nature,  and see how the exchange of energies benefits you 

§         make time for fun,  because this is all part of the balance of life.  Remember that too much work,  and no play,  makes Jack/Jill into a dull person 

§         learn from all your life’s  lessons and experiences,  and also from the people with whom you come into contact.  I maintain that when people say something,  they are sharing a part of their autobiographies with us.  We have to be alert to the lessons people teach us!

We can enjoy colourful lives,  if we follow our hearts,  because our hearts will never mislead or betray us.  We must never give Satan the opportunity to appear in the wings of life’s  stage,   comforted with the thought that our faithful dogs stand ready to protect us.  Our dog will lay down his life for us.  He listens to the tone of our voice,  which is either filled with love or hatred… 

I would like you to accompany me on a detour for a moment – while I am reminded of this story – to meet an illiterate man,  who gets a letter from his son.  The scribe he approaches to read the letter,  has had a difficult day,  and is unfortunately in a bad mood,  which is reflected in his tone-of-voice,  while he reads the letter,  importuning the father for money.  The father is shocked,  and decides that if the son can ask for money in such a harsh manner,  none will be forthcoming.  The father mulls over this,  in his state of shock,  not believing what he has heard,  because his son is always so polite.  He approaches another scribe,  who reads the letter asking for money, with intonations of warmth.  “Ah”,  says the father,  “if my son can ask me so kindly,  I will immediately send him twice as much as he has asked”!  Okay,  let us return to our faithful friend,  our dog… 

Before we ever dare to hit him,  we should remember that his jaws could crush the bones of our hands with ease,  and we must remember to take care of him when he gets old,  because none of us can escape old age.

Until we meet again,  I would like to leave you with an Olde Irish Blessing,  which protects us from that silly,  stray bullet,  or any other harm: 

“May the road rise up to meet you; 

May the wind always be at your back;

May the sun shine warmly upon your face;

May the rains fall softly upon your fields; 

And until we meet again, 

May God hold you in the palm of His Hand”.    

…”AND may a smile be Your umbrella,  on a rainy,  rainy,  day”!!

Remember my smile: Part 24                                                 16 July 2008

Pointers: help vs. hinder,  city folk vs. country folk…

The Teacher,  in Pat Conroy’s  novel,  “The Prince of Tides”,  boldly,  brazenly,  and with well-deserved pride,  makes the following statement:  “There is  no word in the language I revere more than ‘Teacher’!  None!  My heart sings,  when a person refers to me as a Teacher,  and it always has!  I’ve honoured myself,  and the entire family of Man,  by becoming one”!  The founder of a reputable college,  where I taught for 2 years,  shared  George Bernard Shaw’s  cynical wisdom with me: “Those who can -  DO!  Those who can’t  do -  TEACH!”…  and those who can’t  teach -  LECTURE?  This hypothesis is a contradiction in itself,  because in order to teach anything,  you first must be able to DO – YOURSELF  -  what it is you are required to teach!  When you teach,  you achieve double insight and application.  The songs that I taught,  I now know off by heart!  It seems to me,  that by teaching,  you learn twice over,  and the additional colourful understanding you gain,  adds an inexplicable new dimension to your life! 

Yes,  if you teach,  you receive a  Double Blessing!!  And you do so,  with a smile!  Jesus was a Teacher.  God is Our Teacher.  Let us learn His Ways!

When you teach,  you uplift others for the rest of their lives.  You give them an ability they previously did not have.  You help them…  and if they make mistakes,  you encourage them…  you egg them on,  to greatest heights!

It is with regret that I have to share a cold fact,  that outside the classroom walls,  is a competitive,  selfish world,  with too many people  ridiculing others,  laughing at them,  and making a fool of them,  if they do not cope in crises.  If it was possible,  they would kick them out of the way…

I saw someone break into a cold sweat,  because he failed to use an Automatic Teller Machine correctly,  even after he was shown what to do by the bank’s  staff.  It was the first time he was operating these foreign buttons,  and he was floundering.  People got irritable,  which aggravated the situation,  causing added stuttering and stalling!  They don’t realise that their turns are coming,  when they too,  will flounder!  Let us act the Good Samaritans,  and go to his rescue!  Then watch him smile with gratitude!

It must have been so embarrassing for the man who owned frugal possessions,  and was shacked up with his lady-friend.  She wore the pants,  capitalising on his indigent financial predicament:  she lanced out with verbal daggers of abuse,  coining a phrase which describes him as a  “Master of Bull-shitting”!  How does he cope,  when he gets turfed out?  Does he smile?

Survival instinct always comes to our rescue:  the Phoenix bird,  even with its enemy – the conflagration (great fire) – trying to hinder him,  is a mythical bird,  the only one of its kind,  who after living five or six centuries in the Arabian Desert,  burnt itself on the massive funeral pyre.  It then rose from the ashes,  with renewed youth and revitalised energies,  to live through another cycle.  Let us try to be like the Phoenix – survivors,  come what may!

A person like the poor man under the enemy’s  roof,  who had to endure the pains of humiliation,  and the fires of hell,  gets added strength to become a new person,  with unique and renewed stamina!  Somehow,  the underdog is given wisdom necessary to cope with the chicanery and shenanigans of those who smile,  while waiting for his demise.  They must count on a long wait! 

The hole that we dig for others,  is the one that we fall into ourselves! 

It is possible to train ourselves to walk in the sun,  to be sons of a wolf -  Sunters’  wise jackal -  but first we must learn,  that in order to enjoy the lion’s  share,  we have to don the fox’s  skin,  and be our own watch-dogs,  which have sprung more protective teeth,  as a defense mechanism!  We have got to learn to grow impervious to pain!  They say that  “if you want to run with the big dogs,  you sometimes have to lift a leg”.  Why do the big dogs sometimes have to lift a leg?  Do they squirt the enemy into silence?

They say if you have a soft and kind personality,  allowing people to  SIT  on you,  they will eventually  S_IT  on you!  It is so true that  “when you give people a finger,  they stand waiting for your hand,  as well”! 

This reminds me of the story where a man makes a loan of  R100  to someone.  That person then goes on to expect an easy second-time loan,  and is angered when he is refused,  using the pretext  “but why were you so eager to lend me money last time?”  One has got to be careful not to walk into the lion’s  mouth (in Afrikaans:  loop in die leeu se bek in),  by explaining that whereas last time our budget allowed cake,  this time it provides only for a humble loaf of  bread.  Then smile,  because he understands,  & he accepts,   & he smiles too!   Amazing that Laws of Logic sometimes ring bells!

I encountered a rebounding Gremlin with a computer,  at the library.  One of the loud,  young  ‘big-shots’,  raised his fog-horn voice saying,  “but you are a teacher…   you should know how to work a  COMPUTER!   You are out of it”!  Remember,  before answering such a specimen,  to weigh and assay that the Laws of Logic,  will not carry the day here…  they say that a little knowledge is dangerous!  This example proves it to a  Tee!  Might is right,  bails him out!

Instead of helping you,  by entrenching their strength and pecking-order,  some people will ridicule you,  adding salt to your wounds,  which then makes them feel better about themselves!  Yes,  this is the world we live in!

Again,  because of its  relevance,  I share with my Reader an article in the current press,  describing how elderly people in Aged Homes get mistreated:  their valuables get stolen;  they are not handled with the appropriate kindness,  and deserving care,  which their condition merits.  I say  “what goes around,  comes around”.  The way we treat others,  is the way that WE one day will be treated.  The members of staff who think that they are exceptions who side-step old age,  are entertaining pipe-dreams!  The aging process is one of Life’s  Great Levelers & Equalisers!  One day,  they too will appear on the stage-of-life wizened,  decrepit,  gaunt & wrinkled -  exactly like the elderly folk to whom they should be dedicated,  as part of their Calling!  Instead,  they use their positions-of-power to humiliate those who they should be protecting.   Dad always quoted a Biblical anecdote: “Do not forsake me in the days of my old age”!

Like the story of the baby with a wet nappy (diaper),  people who should be responsible,  delegate their duties to someone else.  They only jump onto the stage,  if the possibility of glory shines on them.  When vulnerable old-folk get manhandled in this manner,  I ask myself  “Where are the supervisors”? 

Who will guard the guards??

I will never forget visiting a wealthy home,  where a Char did all the dirty work.  The hostess boasted that she was busy dirtying her hands in aiming for her garden to reach  ‘Eden’ perfection.  We were taken aback,  and duly impressed.  One day,  we visited for tea,  and there was a loud commotion of discordant noise outside.  Garden Services,  with an army of workmen,  were attending to the garden,  with a symphony of modern equipment.  The wheels that churn with the Power of Truth,  grind slowly,  but they always come full circle.  To avoid an invidious scenario,  I elected to honour Silence.  After all,  the Boeing had flown over,  which meant that it was now legal to open that bottle of wine.  Guests who took on the Boer (farmer) habit,  by drinking coffee in the morning,  switched over to the British habit of drinking Earl Grey tea,  now that it was afternoon!

Outside,  the cows were mooing,  and out of deference to some of the guests who were visiting this country-home,  and who were quite prissy,  one had to be careful how one explained a heated scene transpiring outside:  being ‘that time of the year again’,  bulls & cows – like the birds & the bees – also get romantic,  and the farmer smiles,  because he gets rich from the outcomes… 

If one lives in the Swartland,  one observes an amazing trick of Nature on the first day of August every year:  the Almond trees all dress up to flaunt a snow-white coat of blossoms.  Be sure that it is during this period,  that you will be kept awake at night by the cats,  seeking partners,  then meeting for a romantic rendezvous under the full moon!  It is so funny for me to relive,  and recall for you,  the antics and live-show going on outside,  and how this was being described in the lounge,  while some were sipping wine,  and others were pouring low tea.  The euphemistic description went something like this:  “The bull has been hurt,  so the cow is busy towing him in”!  Come to think about it,  this is quite descriptive and imaginative,  and it succeeds in softening a lesson in the laws-of-nature!  The description was apt,  because this is precisely what was happening!

And it succeeds in making us smile for a while!

Do you know that when a cow was brought to a small park on the outskirts of the concrete jungle -  Hillbrow, in Johannesburg – the children were amazed to see milk being produced by a cow?  A few of them admitted that they had always thought that milk came from a  BOTTLE!   They were flabbergasted,  with mouths agape!

To understand nature,  we have to live  WITH NATURE,  and we have to live  IN NATURE… 

Is it really just in jest that we hear Johnny describing an elephant as having  “a tail in the front,  and another one at the back”?  Or that  “a camel is a cow with the udders on top”?  Do we allot this creativity with a symbol of merit -  an “A”  for imagination? 

This is what civilisation has done to its  ‘lost sheep’…  we are losing touch with nature!  The moment we feel cold,  off goes the air-conditioning,  and on come the heater…  together with runny noses,  and chest-pains as a result of continuous coughing. 

We pamper ourselves with unnecessary luxuries.  The moment we go outside into the cold,  because we have been spoilt,  this is precisely when the bugs bite with a vengeance,  because we have become increasingly vulnerable, soft and spoilt!  The body loses its natural resilience in coping with the cold!

A mother said that it was part of her culture to put her new-born baby, naked,  into the rain for a few moments.  This was in the Highveld,  where they have a summer rainfall,  rather than in the Cape,  where there is a Mediterranean winter rainfall.  She explained that this would make her baby ‘strong as a lion,  to withstand illness’!  I am not recommending anyone try this,  except of course,  the lionising of a smile!  Nothing wrong with that!!    

Remember my smile: Part 25              Mr. Nelson Mandela’s  90^th  birthday!

18     July  2008

Pointers: a peep at advertisements, and a touch of superstition…

If it was 14 February,  we would serenade somebody whom we love with  “My Funny Valentine”,  singing the words  ‘you make my heart smile’,  but we are 5 months and 4 days too late,  so instead we sing  “Happy Birthday”  to Madiba – Mr. Nelson Mandela,  who turns 90 years young today!  He is eternally a World Hero,  because he always radiates a smile…  a smile charged with love! 

He has unconditionally forgiven those responsible for incarcerating him for 27 years.  In effect,  the best years of his life,  when he was forced to slave in a quarry,  axing rocks on Robben Island (a very small island about 8 kilometers/5miles from Cape Town),  is a torture inflicted on him – and which he endured – so that we can now enjoy the freedom he won for us,  after he cracked the Apartheid regime! 

Those forsaken 27 years,  when he could have enjoyed life,  were stolen from him.  Nobody can ever give those lost years back to him.  God is,  however,  compensating him with good health, coupled with longevity. 

We take this opportunity of wishing Mandela all God’s  Greatest Blessings.  Madiba is a paragon example of how we should age gracefully,  if we are given the choice to make it to our 9^th decade,  and how we should learn to smile exuberantly,  showing unconditional love towards everyone! 

Sunday Times (1October 2000) states:  “If societies are to be judged according to how they treat the disabled and the elderly,  South Africa must hang its head in shame”. 

Instead of respecting the grey hair of age,  and its accompanying wisdom,  there is an entrenched trend to mock senior citizens.  Society seems to be geared into ostracising people when they begin slowing down!  Advertisements focus on beauty and youth.  Only some marines – the ones who retain horse-blinkers – will believe that if you use a certain type of soap or hair shampoo,  your skin and hair will look like the characters in the advertisement. 

Casting agencies choose young,  beautiful people,  who already have  ‘perfect’  skin and hair,  then link their campaigns with the objective of optimising their profits,  choosing their appropriate target markets.   And people are gullible enough to fall for these gimmicks! 

A man whose failing virility keeps him awake at night,  because of strategic advertising,  buys himself a stud’s  four-by-four,  then sleeps like a baby,  because his concern has been lifted!  But his wife is the one who remains short-changed and frustrated in the bedroom,  while he lies asleep,  snoring!

My jacket pocket recently sprung a hole.  I do not wear a watch,  preferring to keep it in my pocket,  if an occasion merits the punctuality of a prince!  

I groped around my pocket for that watch,  but it was nowhere to be found.  Mr. Barman laughed teasingly,  saying “Madala”  (which is the Zulu word for  ‘old man’),  just because my beard sprouts grey,  he reckons I am growing old,  and my floundering to locate the watch at that point in time,  points to failing powers! 

The watch had slipped through a hole in the pocket,  and made its way to the bottom of the jacket’s  lining.  I had to snake it back up into the pocket,  causing wondering stares from people around me,  before I could retrieve it!

It is amazing how people stand ready to knock you,  the moment you hesitate before you jump over a hurdle!  They wait for you to choke on a hiccup,  which is actually a wake-up call that alerts you to be on your guard,  and at your best! 

How does one help   Mr. Barman overcome his false logic?  He smiles if you try to explain,  but he refuses to listen to the truth you are trying to explain!

I recently returned from an invigorating jog.  I felt as ethereal as a butterfly,  but nose-dived for a moment,  with a burst bubble caused by a thoughtless precocious young girl,  who whispered to her mother:  “The old man has just come”!

I was determined to step into my professional shoes for a moment,  so I confronted her strategically and diplomatically,  explaining that  “we are all going to grow old one day”!  Her rejoinder – which stridently reinforces the Biblical  “out of the mouths of babes and sucklings” -  shall stay with me for the rest of my life…   “I hope it takes a long time”!

My aunt’s  strong superstition forbade her visiting an old aged home,  out of fear of becoming like the people who lived there.  If a cripple crossed her path,  she would cross onto the other side of the road,  and remember to throw salt over her left shoulder at the first opportunity afterwards,  so as to ward off being affected. 

At the age of 79,  she could no longer care for herself,  and she passed away,  after a short time in the frail-care section of an Aged Home she would never visit before.  She could not side-step the aging process,  when her turn came along!

The young mother who places her new-born baby – naked – in the rain,  has an innate secret yearning for her baby to grow to a ripe old age,  and retain the health and stamina of a lion.  It is also a superstition,  that she is acting out.  In so-doing,  she keeps in touch with the customs and wishes of her ancestors,  who lived in harmony with nature…

Thor Hayerdahl,  author of  “The Kontiki Expedition”,  in an interview with Time Magazine,  says  “ our lives become more complicated,  as we lose our touch with nature”. 

The children who grow up in cold,  concrete jungles,  like Hillbrow,  have perhaps irretrievably lost their touch with nature.

Advancing technology,  besides hastening the end of our rapport with the elements, actually complicates our lives,  because we become so dependent on machines,  and we flounder when they fail us.

I was in the heart of Cape Town,  when the lights went out.  People got stuck in lifts,  Kentucky closed its doors,  and the small café could not give small change,  because its register would not open.  Besides that,  the assistants are not trained to compute the small change that is required after the purchase of a half-loaf of bread,  without having access to a calculator! 

Sad times,  indeed! 

Journalist Catriona Ross writes about  “machines that nonchalantly claim to do more than one thing (oh,  so machines try to multi-task as well!)…  As the owner of a photocopier that promises to print,  fax,  and scan too,  your odds of being let down are simply quadrupled.  When one function does a wobbly,  the whole “bouquet” (as it is presumptuously termed) withers and dies”.   I love her description of how technology gets us back,  and gets our backs up in the process!

Don’t you think that we need to stop for a moment,  instead of racing along,  without planning our route?  A few minutes spent planning,  and reassessing our goals,  will lead us to that pot of gold we dream about,  at the end of the rainbow.  And we will smile all the way!